Thankful Thursdays #34 – February 18th, 2021

It is important that we spend time reflecting what we are thankful for. It’s important that we express our gratitude. Whatever we send into the universe, comes back to us multiplied. So the more we express our gratitude into universe, the more it comes back to us.

I have a lot to be thankful for this week, and I hope everyone does, too.

Here is my list…

  1. My boyfriend had a snow day, so he didn’t get to go to work that day, instead we just got to hang out together. Which is always fun!
  2. We also watched Tarzan, I haven’t seen that movie in awhile. I really enjoyed that movie.
  3. I am thankful that I got to spend the day watching my favourite show. I love watching Grey’s Anatomy. I’m trying to get myself for its return next month.
  4. I am grateful for spending more time cooking, I love cooking. Yesterday, I even got to watch my show while I cook.
  5. I am thankful that things are getting better with my boyfriend and myself. We have a lot of disagreements lately, but I am glad that things are better now.

Day 49

Ideally it’s best to eat healthy every day. But sometimes it can be hard, and that’s okay. It can be fun to eat unhealthy, from time to time. You can have a lot of fun eating snacks, and foods that aren’t so healthy. We should learn to make food fun, and learn to enjoy it.

My boyfriend and I are had leftover soup for lunch, and for dinner we are going to have chicken fingers, and French fries. I know it isn’t the healthy things for myself. But as long as you don’t overdo your healthy foods, it can a lot of fun.

Everyone should have a day where they don’t have to be worry about eating healthy, or making sure they are doing something they normally do. We need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves when it comes to food. Learn to have fun with your food.

Today, I will learn to have a good relationship with my food. I will learn to give myself a cheat day when I can eat unhealthy foods. It’s important for me to understand that I can have a healthy relationship with food.

Day 37

So, today brought me some challenges. My boyfriend and I have been facing disagreements, as of lately. Which has been allowing me to focus on how to fight right with someone, which is one of my resolutions for February. There are several ways where arguments can cause even more trouble than what you two, or however many people are involved in the situation, worse than what the disagreement was.

For one, heated arguments make people say things they don’t mean. Although they shouldn’t use the argument as an excuse. But it does happen from time to time. When this happens, the person who was just called a bad name, may excuse themselves from the argument, and may take longer to heal from this argument.

One way to solve this situation, is to calmly let the person you are mad or in a disagreement know how you feel. Use “I feel” statements. Give them to time to process what you are feeling. You can bring to talk about the situation, or you can ever write a letter about what you are feeling. That way you will refrain yourself from saying something hurtful. The extra time it takes you to write a letter, the more time it will give you reflect on what you are currently fighting about.

When you have explained what and why you are feeling a certain, give the letter to the person you are having a disagreement with. Let them read and write up an apology and next steps to ensure the same thing doesn’t happen again.

Today, I will realize that there are several ways to end a conflict, while trying not to be rude to the person I am fighting with. May this disagreement bring us closer together by letting us see where things went wrong, so we can work together to repair it.

February Resolutions 2021

As part of My Happiness Project, each month I focus on different aspects and areas of my live. This is about my journey of how I incorporate new habits, and thought process into every day. For February, I had decided to focus on love, and relationships, not just with my boyfriend, but with other relationships as well. On the first day of every month, I will discuss my goals, and resolutions, and how I will be making these changes. Then on the last day of the month, I will talk about how I made these changes, and to discuss on how these habits helped me experience more happiness.

My Resolutions

  1. Fight Right
  2. Give tokens of love
  3. Kiss each other good night, and good morning
  4. Give compliments to partner

Fight Right

This one is about being able to come to a resolution, that doesn’t include name calling, or making fun of each other. There are various ways of being able to fight right without being hurtful to one another. I would explore other ways of fighting right in order to come to a conclusion. I would keep you posted on that later.

Give Tokens of Love

I will find ways to give tokens of my love to my boyfriend. I’m not encouraging or recommending that you spend a lot of money on this. But some ideas include writing a letter, or drawing a photo, or making him a cup of a tea, or have breakfast in bed, or other ways that doesn’t cost any money.

Kiss Each Other Good Night, and Good Morning

This one is important, because you never know when the last time you will see each other, so it’s important that you end your conversations, and departures on a good note. Which brings me to my next resolution…

Give Each Other Compliments

It’s important to let your partner know that you appreciate them. So it is recommended that you show them your appreciation by saying thank you, or that they did something that you liked. And telling them a compliment is always nice. Tell them they look nice, or that their cup of tea you made them was delicious, etc. It isn’t that hard to find compliments for your partner.

Conclusion

I have loved working on this project. I am excited for what this month is going to bring for me. If this has inspired you to make these kinds of changes in your life, I would love to hear about your journey, and your Happiness Project. Be sure to keep me updated either in the comments, or by tagging me in your posts. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Actions Speak For Themselves

As much as I wish, I wish I could only see the good in the world, but unfortunately that isn’t the whole truth. I have seen the not so good parts of the world, too. I wish I haven’t.

Some people make foolish choices, people lie, others backstab people close to them. Lovers who find each other, only to realize their timing is off. People who miss opportunities.

Yes, people make mistakes all the time. That’s sometimes the only way we learn, is through trial and error.

It’s how you handle your mistakes that is important. How you heal the ones you hurt and how you fix things that are broken. These are all important things to consider and to think about. You should be having a conversation after an argument to discuss next steps, and what happens next.

I have allowed other people, who I thought were close to me, hurt me, more than once. I am too kind of a person to push someone away despite them hurting me.

“If someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.”

-Maya Angelou

One of Oprah’s life lesson she has learnt from Maya Angelou is that once someone shows you their “dark side”, you should know they are showing you how they truly are to you. What I like about this quote is that you can’t really blame the other person for hurting you, because they have already showed you who they are. Sometimes people want to see the good in others, but sometimes, it’s not always there. It’s not okay to allow someone to hurt you or disappoint you over, and over again. That isn’t healthy, that’s the definition of insanity. Insanity is allowing the same thing to happen again, and again, but expecting a different outcome to occur. When you think things will get better, by doing nothing, you are lying to yourself.

People fail to realize that sometimes their tongue acts like a double edged sword. Once they release their words, they sometimes say something hurtful to their loved ones. I say double edged sword, because sometimes, not all the times, does that person feel bad for saying those words. Unfortunately that isn’t always the case.

People lie to you from time to time, not even thinking about it. These people think they didn’t do anything wrong. They walk around thinking that you’re naive or oblivious, and not aware that you can see right through them, and you know that they are hiding something from you. But their logic is, that if they don’t mention anything to you, then it doesn’t exist. They think that they aren’t lying, despite withholding the truth from you, or continuing to feed you white lies.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

-Mark Twain

I would rather be hurt with the truth once, instead of being sugarcoated, and have someone “protect” with a lie over, and over again.

I am not here to say mean stuff regarding other people, but it’s hurtful seeing people hurting the people they say they love. And I mean, they probably do, but you don’t go hurting the ones you love. That isn’t cool, nor acceptable at all.

“Don’t expect the person that hurt you to be the person who saves you.”

If someone has hurt you, and they never apologized for it, and they are no longer in your life. You just got to remove the feelings of hatred, or sadness from your heart. Those feelings are negative to have. Whenever you think of someone that has hurt you, forgive them, but don’t forget the lessons they have taught you. When you think of this person, send them forgiveness into the universe and good wishes to this person. Then let go with grace. Love can’t enter a heart that has hatred running through its veins.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

People should learn to treat other people better. They should do anything to see their loved ones happy, no matter what. The one who wipes away your tears, because you were crying from laughing too much, not because they made you sad. Someone who can’t wait to hear all about your day. Someone who makes you happy, someone who doesn’t like seeing you sad. Someone who wants you to succeed.

If you don’t have a person like this in your life, don’t feel sad, you’ll find this person. I like to think that everyone has a soulmate.

And for everyone who has had their heart broken, and never received an apology. I am so sorry that no one saw your value, but it’s their loss, because I’m sure whomever is reading this, is amazing.

Fight Right

Whenever you get in an argument with someone dear, instead of bickering and yelling at them, or playing the blame game, perhaps you should try to write them a letter.

When you are writing this letter, be sure to include the following statements, such as, “I feel _______, when you do _______”. And be sure to refrain from my using vulgar language, name calling, or anything else that is negative and uncalled for.

You begin to write about what you are angry, or upset you are, and what caused you to feel these emotions. The person that you are having this disagreement with, is to just sit there waiting for your letter.

Once you have finished writing your letter, you then hand it to the person you are having this disagreement with. If you live together, you can just simply hand it to them. If they don’t live with you, you can safely deliver it yourself, or mail it depending on where they live.

The recipient now can respond to the letter, with what was written to them. They have the same rules where they are not allowed to call you names. They can discuss their feelings to you, and let you know where they are coming from.

Keep on writing until an agreement of how to do things differently, an apology.

The point of this exercise is to be more mindful of what exactly you are thinking. How many times has countless hours of arguing resulted in you saying something uncalled for and unnecessary that made the person you are arguing with feel even worse? This saves you from saying something hurtful, that you will regret later.

And perhaps you and your partner or who ever you are having this disagreement with aren’t the best with words, perhaps you are more artistic. By all means, you can draw a picture instead. And if you aren’t the best at either, perhaps you can find another way to express your feelings in a mindful way.

By finding healthier ways to express your feelings throughout a disagreement, it will save you and your partner a lot of heartache later.

Second Chance

*Warning* This blog post may be graphic for some readers.

About six months ago, my boyfriend was walking me to work. During that time it was our winter, so I had slipped and fallen on some ice on my right thigh. It hurt a bit, but I shook it off as I had ways to go. That whole morning, even getting ready for work felt like an off day for me. I wasn’t in the best mood. To be honest, I was feeling a bit discouraged that day.

We were almost at my work, when the light had turned green – our right away. And because I was angry that day, I was walking fast, faster than my boyfriend, and the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I had just gotten hit by a car that was turning left and he ran right into me. I was too busy thinking in my head to hear the car turning. My boyfriend tried his best to grab me and pull me out of the way. He felt me slip out of his arms.

I was crying, but I was strong enough to stand up afterwards. My mind has never let me remember the actual feeling of getting hit by the car. Which I am so thankful for. It really was scary. I just remember the feeling pain on my face and on my right thigh, (it didn’t help that I had previously fallen on it, 20 minutes prior) which is what had hit the car. I also remember being scared to touch my face and thigh in fears of feeling broken bones. After I had placed my hands over those body parts, I just felt the skin being swollen, nothing was broken, although I don’t have a Medical Degree, so I couldn’t be 100% certain.

My boyfriend took me over to a side walk where he took his coat off and used that as a cushion for me to sit down on. Then a familiar customer approached me asking me if I was okay, because I assumed not a lot of time has passed by, so she must have saw the accident. She was nice enough to call for help on my behalf. I told her that I worked at the coffee shop just up the street, where she was heading. She had spoke to the manager explaining the situation to my manager. My manager came out and saw me and gave me a hug.

I just remembered looking at the car and seeing his side mirror hanging off over his door handle.

Not much time after that, help showed up. My boyfriend and I both gave the police our statements. We then went to a hospital to get looked at to make sure that I was okay. After a doctor had examined me, she told me that I was lucky. Nothing was broken, just bruises and a bit of swelling.

It was in those moments that I truly was lucky. I could have suffered life-threatening injuries, or worst, I could have died, but the universe told me that my purpose and story wasn’t over. The universe knew that I had more to offer and bring into this world. It made me feel that I was needed and people needed me too.

I was also reminded me that I should be chasing my own dreams and passions and not be persuaded by what others want me to be. I pursued accounting thinking that I would love it, and be good at it. And also because people were encouraging telling me that I would be good at it, as well. But when I was studying it, I felt like my heart wasn’t it.

When they placed my hospital bracelet, I remembered the other times that I had to wear one in the past. Being in the hospital, made me feel like a patient in Grey’s Anatomy. It reminded when I was younger, I always wanted to be a nurse. I love helping people, I’m an optimistic and a caring person who has a lot of patience. To me, those are good qualities to have as a nurse. I know there are many other qualities to be a nurse, but those are the first ones that come to mind.

Later that night, because I had fallen and broke the concrete with my face. I ended up chipping one of my tooth, that I previously chipped two years ago, almost to the day. It was just not my day that day. I noticed because I was eating my dinner and a part of my filling came off. But I am thankful for all of the lessons it has taught me.

Although, to be honest I laid in bed for the next week or so. It wasn’t so much the aftermath of getting hit by the car that knocked me out, it was mostly the anxiety of having to go back outside. I also had a purple, dark blue bruise on my face, so that made me feel a bit self conscious. It was a very scary time for me. Fortunately, the bruise was a pale yellow greenish bruise by the time I returned to work a week later. It reminded that everything is only temporary, this pain won’t last forever.

I just felt a lot of life changing moments during the whole incident. I felt like beforehand, I wasn’t in the best place, emotionally; I often felt like I wasn’t me. I felt like I had outgrew a lot of things, like I was hungry and wanting new and better things for myself. I wanted a new job, a new place to live. The whole incident taught me to not settle for things that made me unhappy, instead choose happiness.

It made me realize that I am stronger than I even realized. I am capable of making changes in my life. This incident made me count my blessings, and to always be thankful no matter what happens to me. It was like this whole thing was a teaching moment. It reinforced everything that I preach in my blog, to be thankful, to never settle, to always believe in yourself and to overcome your anxieties and fears. I can really go and do anything I want to in my life.

It was also a reminder to always live your life like it is your last day. I know that made sound like a cliche, but it’s so true. You should always fill your days doing something you love. Always tell your friends and family how much they mean to you. No one knows when their time is going to run out. Don’t let the bad times bring you down, you can always stand up, no matter how hard the universe may bring you down. Use your troubles as stepping stones for something better. Learn to count your blessings, not your burdens.

Relationships

“So whenever your relationship is not working, whenever it brings out the ‘madness’ in you and in your partner, be glad. What was unconscious is being brought up to the light. It is an opportunity for salvation. Every moment knowing of that moment, particularly of your inner stare.”

-Eckhart Tolle

I love this quote and it relates to my relationships at the moment.

Letting Go

As another year’s end is upon us we then realize that a few changes needs to made in our lives. Sometimes that may result in us to feel trapped in a relationship. The ones that already reached the end but we are in denial about it because we think it’s best to postpone the official end that way we don’t have to grieve over the lost of a relationship.

We need to trust our journey and believe that whatever may happen to us it is for the best. It will help us grow. We should let go of all of the relationships that are no longer working for us. We must recognize our strength to end a relationship. We need to know that we are loved and that we will find people who will fall in love with our quirks and admire our flaws.

Today I will allow myself to grieve and I will accept that the path that I am on is planned for me.