Day 58

For my new followers, thank you for your support. I appreciate the love, and kind words. Every day, I write about life lessons that I have either learned from the day, or sometime throughout my life. I was inspired by Melody Beattie’s book The Language of Letting Go. It’s a book about her daily meditation on codependency. Although her book is focused on codependency, her mediation can be applied to other aspects of anyone’s lives. This is a lesson from Saturday.

My boyfriend’s birthday was on Sunday, so I was trying to paint him a cool picture. The problem is I am a terrible artist, or so I thought that was the problem… But I had this cool image of just what my painting should look like, but sadly that was not the case. I was trying to blend two paints together. It was supposed to be an ocean, so I was going to start the painting with a light blue, and was supposed to blend a darker blue. It was supposed to give an illusion that the water was getting deeper. I couldn’t blend it in nicely. I was telling my boyfriend that I was having a hard time blending the two colours together. My boyfriend tried, and he is more artistic than me. He tried, and he said, that it’s because we don’t have fancy paint brushes. We bought ours at the dollar store, so they aren’t top quality.

I gave up and just painted the mini canvas with a blue, and wrote; “Sending you an ocean of Love”. I used red paint for love, and yellow for the rest. I handed my painting to my boyfriend, and he loved it.

I have learned that we are our worst critics. We often doubt our abilities, and we can say mean stuff to ourselves, when we really shouldn’t. We should learn to be more compassionate to ourselves. We wouldn’t be saying mean things to our friends, or family members. So why we think it is okay to say these things to ourselves?

Today, I will try and remove any hate, and hurtful things that I say to myself. Instead I will try to provide myself with love, and compassion. I will learn to work on being so hard on myself. I wouldn’t say anything mean to my friends, or family, so why should I say hateful things to myself? I need to practice self love, and love myself, for my flaws, and mistakes.

Fight Right

Whenever you get in an argument with someone dear, instead of bickering and yelling at them, or playing the blame game, perhaps you should try to write them a letter.

When you are writing this letter, be sure to include the following statements, such as, “I feel _______, when you do _______”. And be sure to refrain from my using vulgar language, name calling, or anything else that is negative and uncalled for.

You begin to write about what you are angry, or upset you are, and what caused you to feel these emotions. The person that you are having this disagreement with, is to just sit there waiting for your letter.

Once you have finished writing your letter, you then hand it to the person you are having this disagreement with. If you live together, you can just simply hand it to them. If they don’t live with you, you can safely deliver it yourself, or mail it depending on where they live.

The recipient now can respond to the letter, with what was written to them. They have the same rules where they are not allowed to call you names. They can discuss their feelings to you, and let you know where they are coming from.

Keep on writing until an agreement of how to do things differently, an apology.

The point of this exercise is to be more mindful of what exactly you are thinking. How many times has countless hours of arguing resulted in you saying something uncalled for and unnecessary that made the person you are arguing with feel even worse? This saves you from saying something hurtful, that you will regret later.

And perhaps you and your partner or who ever you are having this disagreement with aren’t the best with words, perhaps you are more artistic. By all means, you can draw a picture instead. And if you aren’t the best at either, perhaps you can find another way to express your feelings in a mindful way.

By finding healthier ways to express your feelings throughout a disagreement, it will save you and your partner a lot of heartache later.

Complete

“The truth is I am a perfect part of the exact point at which all individual human beings meet and the spectrum of voices weaving themselves in between and screaming “Every sick thought you’ve ever had and every twisted feeling you’ve ever felt are what makes this painting complete.'”

-Buddy Wakefield

I admire this a lot. No matter what you think or feel your painting will be beautiful.