Day 63

I know I have told this story before, but I have many new followers since I have told this story. I used to live with my mom, before I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. I didn’t want to bring all of my possessions with me to his house. He already had a lot of people, and things in his house. I left the less important things in my room, with the intention of going back there to grab the rest of my stuff. What made it challenging was, it was a long bus ride in between our places. I never felt comfortable having to carry like four bags, and having it take up extra space on the bus.

And at one point my sister lived with my mom, too. So she had her things there, too. My mom was going to use that room for her friend to stay there for a bit. My sister’s boyfriend drove us to my mom’s house, so we can grab our things. Although because they didn’t really plan a lot of time to go through and sort through everything. We did it the lazy way, and just threw everything into a container, and we would just decide to organize it later. So, that is what we did.

And I got settled into a new place last year with my boyfriend, and his friend, so I was finally ready to deal with my stuff. I am tired of having a lot of things in my life. I thought I had sorted through everything, but when my sister’s boyfriend was cleaning out the basement, he had discovered that I had another container of my things. I sorted through the last container of my things from my old room. I feel quite happy about myself.

It is a freeing experience to part with things that you no longer use anymore. I love knowing that there is someone else out there, who is going to use this way more than me.

Today, I will think twice about adding more possessions into my life, and if these items really add value to my life. Sometimes it’s best to just part ways with it, and give it to someone else. It truly is an liberating feeling of owning less. When you have less items in your life, there is less to worry about. When you have less to worry about, you can truly work on the things that add value and happiness in your life.

2020 Review

In my opinion, December went by too fast, so it is difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly I have learned from December. So instead of writing a post about the things I have learned in December, I am going to talk about the things I have learned in 2020.

I have learned that I am capable to make changes in my life. I can leave things behind that don’t make me happy. For instance my job was not making me happy. I felt undervalued, and underappreciated. I knew I could something better in my life. Now I am focusing on the things that make me happy. Right now that is my blog. I still have a dream about becoming an author. I have been using this time to brainstorm ideas for a story, that can be turned into a novel, one day.

I have learned that memories are in our hearts, not in our things. It’s okay to let go of things. In fact, letting go of things, it can add value to someone else. This is known as the Subtraction, Addition. When we subtract our belongings, we have added more value of space that we can finally use for the things that add joy in our lives. I love helping others, so being able to part with some of my things, like sweaters, various shirts, I was able to help other people who may not have been able to afford these things.

In a pandemic, we weren’t missing the things we couldn’t buy, we were missing our families, friends, hugs. We were restricted from going over to other people’s houses. We missed out on birthdays, holidays, and other festivities.

From the pandemic, it also taught us that we should cherish every moment, and every person in our lives. We may never know when it is our last shared memory, moment with each other. We never know how much time is left, so it is important that we live our lives. We shouldn’t be wasting our valuable time on things that don’t necessarily matter. How many times have you told yourself, “I wished I had more time.”? Really look into yourself, and evaluate how you have been spending your time. Did you just binge watch a new show? All of those hours could have done something beneficial, like crossing something off your to-do list. Watching TV is cool, but it should be used as a reward for getting something done, not as something to do, to either pass the time, or avoid doing something.

I have also learned that it is important to make time for the things that matter. We should focus on the things like reading a book, exercising, and eating more healthy. These activities will add longevity, and keep your mind active.

I learned that is important to save up, and set some money aside for an emergency fund. Paying off debt helps, too. I have been making a budget on a monthly basis, which is really necessary to do, especially this year, and next year.

I have been having a lot of time to go after my dreams, which is something I take seriously. I can’t wait to spend more time making my dreams and goals come true.

As badly as 2020 was for us, I think we should also focus on the things we have learnt from 2020, and carry it forward to 2021.

Read This When You Are Angry

Hi y’all. Sorry I haven’t been around much. I have just been going through something the past few days. More on that later.

So, this was a letter I wrote for my boyfriend. The theme was these letters, sealed in an envelope. It says “Open when… You are Sad” Other emotions were when you are happy, when you need motivation, when you are bored, when you need motivation, etc. I had written ten different letters, because it was for our 10 months anniversary.

This is what I wrote for Anger. It include quotes from movies we like, and proverbs I like.

Dear: Boyfriend,

“Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!” -Dory, Finding Nemo

“If you are pateient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Chinese Proverb

It’s okay to be mad every now and again. It’s HOW you handle it, that matters. When you’re mad, it’s important to not say something that you do not mean. It’s also important to respect people’s belongings, and feelings.

Allow yourself to be angry, no need to disguise it, or dismiss your feelings of anger. Next learn to sit with your anger. Don’t act on your anger, just sit and think about it. No need to rush your thoughts and or actions. Just sit. Take your time to feel this emotion – feel your heart beat, observe your breath. Meditate with your feelings. Decide you are not looking for a way to get even, or to gain power.

Look back on what kind of mood you were in before the situation (the one that got you mad). It may not have been the incident that is to blame. Ask yourself; “Why is this bothering me so much?” Is it really what someone else did, or are you feeling angry because of what you are interpreting their actions to mean? For example you get mad at someone for not listening, because you interpret it as this person not caring about you. Take a look at your actions. Look for all areas where you may be projecting your own traits onto someone else to get closer to the root of your feelings. Jot your feelings down in a journal. Let it all out.

Now that you’ve spent some time dealing with your anger, initiate a conversation with this person about what bothered you in a way without you expressing your anger in a rude or violent manner. The way to do that is by using; “I feel…” language. This way, you are not assuming this person did something intentionally, or that you come across as assuming something. Another phrase that is beneficial is “It seemed to me like…”. This helps you explain your understanding of the situation without assuming something of the other person. You are simply expressing how their actions make you feel so they have an understanding about how their actions impact you. Resist the urge to bring up other grievances, instead stick to the situation at hand, and discuss those at another time, if you still need to. Validate the person’s perspective. It is important to value the way they see the situation, too. Focus on creating a solution. If your goal is to get the other person to admit that they were wrong, you’re probably end up in a power struggle.

Learn from what you value. This situation taught you something useful about what you value in people. Learn what you need, maybe you needed that lesson, to improve a relationship. Learn from it, own it, act on it. Learn how to communicate clearly. This helps you to fully express yourself in a way for you to be honest. This also helps you to learn how you can improve your response to anger from escalating. Maybe you have learnt to put more space between your feelings, and responses. Next, reflect and learn what you’ll do differently in another situation.

And lastly, forgive. After the person has apologized, one way to finish the conversation is by saying. “I love you. I forgive you.”

“For ever minute you spend being angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

A Photographer’s Perspective

It’s another edition of our weekly quote, to get us started this week. Hopefully it is off to a great start.

This quote can sum up 2020. Yes, the year gave us a lot of heart ache, anxiety, and overall it was a difficult year for the majority of us. But it just meant that we need to change our attitude and perspective on certain things. Let’s focus on how 2020 helped us want to better ourselves, what it taught us, and what changes it made us want for ourselves.

This is a reminder that no matter how difficult something is, it doesn’t mean that things won’t get better, they will. All it takes is a change of how we see things. Don’t let bad times bring you down, just know that these bad times are just part of the journey.

Pandemic

I can’t believe that we are near the end of 2020. 18 days left. I’ve been trying my hardest to make the best of the situation of what the year has thrown at us.

The whole Covid-19 pandemic has taught me valuable lessons such as, make time for what matters, don’t procrastinate, and always be grateful. Mind you I did have a grasp of these concepts but this reminded me to enforce these ideas even more.

One of the negatives from the viruses, is that they have been many families who have lost loved ones from the virus. My heart goes out to everyone who is hurting. Things might not get easier, but one thing for sure is that we do stronger. I am so thankful for the health workers and everyone who is at the front lines battling this disease.

Although I feel sad, because it seems to me, like a lot of people are divided over this virus. Mostly because there are people who think this is a hoax. And these people are calling the ones that do believe in this virus mean names. I don’t like how people have become divided on the topic. I wished that this would have brought us closer together (well, from six feet apart). We really do need to work together on this to help each other.

This virus has helped others focus on their mental health, which is something that we don’t always talk about enough. But it allowed others to seek help, they might not have if it weren’t for the virus. It allowed us to finally put our mental health as a priority.

It has given me more time to truly wonder what I want to do with my life. I always dreamt of being my own boss, by wanting to be a writer, and blogger. But I also want to be a psychologist to help people as well. I believe that we all have the power to make better choices.

One of the benefits from Covid-19, is that I am a bit scared of germs, so I have always been cautious of germs. I do feel a bit relieved that now I am not the only one that is taking precautions when it comes to germs. I felt like people have always made fun of me, behind my back, and sometimes even to my face. And now it is a nice situation where people are now more cautious. I just hate the circumstances of what held to these events. But there are measures in place to ensure we are all safe, or at least the safest we can be.

I have always been worried about germs since, as long as I can remember. It stemmed from childhood. When I move, I prefer to spend time cleaning my new space before I move my belongings in. When I moved in with my boyfriend, and his family, that was a big adjustment to me. I only felt comfortable washing my dishes. These habits do cause me to feel stress. I do have a lot of struggles adapting to new things and places. All we can do is learn to take things one day at a time.

Another benefit of the pandemic is that it really showed me what I really want to do in my life. I learned that I don’t want to work for someone else’s dream. I want to work on my dream. My dream is to be a writer, and a blogger. I know my chances are making it big, and famous are probably just one percent, but some other famous person had the same thought, and yet they ended up fulfilling their goals. As am I.

“With everything that has happened to you, you can feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

What You Don’t Want Becomes What You Need

Hey, everyone! Let’s start our week off with positive vibes and thoughts.

Perhaps you have thought, “Why life has been throwing curveballs at you?”, and you don’t know why at first. The universe isn’t punishing you. It is giving you new perspective and sometimes even a new beginning. It may be hard to see it now, but it may be everything you need.

You can’t see a rainbow, until after you go through a storm. The universe has a crazy plan for all of us. There may be times where we don’t see that things will work out for us, but things actually work out better than we can ever imagine. What we may not realize was the crazy detour the universe gave us, was just what we needed.

Whenever you are going through something, just trust the universe knows what is best. It might just take some time to get use to the changes, but things will get better. You’ll soon realize why you needed to go through these transformations. When these events unfold, you’ll be truly grateful for these events.

Change of Scenery

Today, I read and wrote in my journal in outside in a nearby hiking trail. It was quite peaceful, and thankfully wasn’t too hot. I made myself an iced tea (hot tea served over ice) to quench my thirst and keep me hydrated, and I had packed my book, and my journal, and began my walk. It was nice to get some exercise outside.

I really enjoyed myself. I am definitely going to do this again. It made me think more deeply since I was surrounded by nature and in the sun.

Your Choice

Another Friday means it’s another Eckhart Tolle Friday.

“Whatever the present present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Some times, life throws an obstacle, or maybe more obstacles your way. But the thing you have to look at it, is that not everything that is happening to you is going to bad. When things are bad, they often are overlooked, and actually turn into something good. Take your bad days and experiences and think of it as a flower about to be planted. And that all of your dark times, are actually from the soil pouring over you, because you are about to be planted, waiting to blossom into something beautiful.

So, whatever is happening to you, you have to accept it as if it something you would have wanted for yourself. Never allow a bad experience spoil your day. Please know that things will get better and easier over time. A piece of art takes time to unfold into a masterpiece.

Don’t let yourself dwell in sadness and allow yourself to get frustrated with whatever situation you are in. When things get tough, remind yourself to accept this as something you would have wanted to happen. Honestly, you can’t have a rainbow without a storm. So use this lesson to remind yourself that things will get better.

Changes – Weekly Quote

It’s the beginning of a new week, that means we all need to have a quote to help us get through the upcoming week.

I came across this quote when I was strolling through my Facebook. I absolutely love this quote, because it is something so simple, but yet so profound.

Tony Robbins is an author, public speaker and life coach. I found this quote to be quite insightful, because I am going through several of changes in my life, at the moment. I wasn’t happy with my job, so I am off to find something more satisfying. I know that if I didn’t make any changes in my life, than nothing would change. Only I can be the one to make changes in my life. No one was going to do that for me.

So, you can either think to yourself that everything is magically going to change by complaining about what’s wrong or why you are currently unhappy, or you can make certain changes in your life, and watch how your life is going to change for the better.

Quarantine

So, where do I begin… I have been off work since mid March due to medical reasons and anxiety. I must say, I have learned a lot of myself that I wouldn’t have gotten to known without all of this extra time. I am really thankful to have had this spare time.

I understand that these were uncertain times for others, but I tried to do my part by limiting the spread of the virus, and perhaps passing it off to others, by staying home. And I know that not everyone had this opportunity, so I hope everyone stays safe.

My boyfriend and I just moved in with one of his friend’s a month prior to my time off from work. I was able to organize and reorganize our room. I was able to remove things that didn’t have much value in our lives. That was a really fun experience.

I am returning back to work tomorrow, so I am little nervous. I know that where I am, there are still cases, but it’s not a relatively large number of cases. It still makes me nervous, but I will make it my priority to stay safe.

These are the things I am going to miss, when I return to work…

  1. Being able to sleep whenever I am tired, and not worrying about having to set an alarm. I can fall asleep at any time. Some days I took full advantage of that. I know this wasn’t healthy, but some nights I slept for ten hours. It was such a luxury to stay in bed until I wanted to do something else.
  2. Having time to exercise. I enjoyed going for a walk in the neighbourhood, especially since it is a new neighbourhood. I was able to make space in my room for my yoga mat to practice yoga routines, and meditation. I live pretty far from where I work, so by the time I leave in the morning, work, come back it’s basically dinner time. I know, I am not the only one who has this problem, and I know that some people have children to take care of as well. But I see the problem, and I have solutions to fix this situation.
  3. The feeling of not being stressed or anxious about a work related problem. It has been peaceful to not have to deal with any of these problems.
  4. The freedom of having spare time. I had time to declutter, read books, clean and blog again. I am so thankful for using this time for good use for myself.
  5. It made me realize that I can do and be anything I want. I would love to be my own boss, and have freedom doing whatever I like. I loved creating my own schedule and my own to-do list. That is probably the thing I am going to miss the most from the whole quarantine. It was such a luxury. The whole experience made me realize that I am always one decision from a different life.

I will try to continue to do the things I have learnt during this spare time. I will also try to coordinate the things I had time to do, into my new schedule.