Be In The Now – Eckhart Tolle

“In today’s rush we think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being.”

-Eckhart Tolle

This quote is completely true. In this world we are all in a rush to get to point A to point B that we often forget to stay mindful. But it is important stay in the present.

We often feel the need to always want more, more and more but if we can’t be happy with what we have what makes us think that we will be content with more?

We must stay in the present. Don’t let yesterday’s mistakes, failures take up much space in your thoughts. Learn from it and move on. Don’t let your worries or doubts ruin your today.

Embrace the now! Let everything else go.

Leave The Past Behind

Even though you might have an attachment to your past, somethings are best to let go. We are not allowing ourselves to grow to our full potential if there is always apart of us that belongs in the past.

Sometimes we use the past as an excuse because we are afraid to get close to someone else since someone previously did harm to us or we are afraid of failing or whatever else we are thinking. Change your thoughts and you will be more at peace with yourself and others.

But we must let this go. The heart cannot fully love someone if you put your walls to guard yourself. By doing so you are blocking yourself from receiving love.

Learn from the past but never attach yourself to it.

Today, I will let go of the past. I will accept that people have hurt me but I should not let it affect my present. I will embrace new challenges and people in my life instead of limiting ourselves.

Stop Fretting

I have learnt that is never a good idea to worry. But I still do.

I try my best to not worry but I find it unbearable at times. I’m a people-pleaser. I feel like I have to go that extra mile to impress others. If these people aren’t impressed then I feel like I let them down.

I like everything to be done a certain way. I love things to be in order.

But as of lately I have been trying to break free from these thinking habits. I need to learn that nothing good can come from worrying. It’s best to find tranquility. Everything happens as it happens, no need to stress.

Let it all go and be thankful.

No Matter How Much…

No matter how much you love someone,

they don’t feel the same way.

No matter how much you care about someone

they don’t show their appreciation.

Now matter how much you go out of your way

they won’t go out theirs.

Sometimes you have to let go.

It’s okay.

You deserve better.

And you will find someone who

who make you smile, laugh and love again.

Stay true to yourself.

Sometimes you have to get lost

to find who you truly are.

Everything Happens For A Reason

We have all heard of the saying; “Everything happens for a reason even if we aren’t wise enough to it.”

I was at work earlier today and a friend of a friend of me crossed my path again. Him and I were talking and it was a really nice conversation. He hasn’t gotten the chance to check out my blog yet but I hope he does soon.

Anyway, I strongly believe that no matter what we are experiencing in our lives it is meant to happen. No need to manipulate or control the outcome of it. You are not in control. The Universe has a divine plan for us.

Every person we meet is there to teach us a lesson of some kind. Whether it to be to let go, to grow, to gain confidence in ourselves or to how to trust again. These are traits that are needed to rebuild ourselves after a hardship in our life.

Never give up. We can overcome anything because it is part of our path. Let it happen. And believe that it will be okay.

Our Fates Are Forever Intertwined

Whilst I was jogging and climbing the stairs at a local trail I looked down and I saw three yellow butterflies. It was very poetic. Well at least to me it was. I first saw one butterfly following another. The first one didn’t wait to be sought instead it flew further away. But then the leader went back to the follower. But then the follower left. The third butterfly was caught in the middle of it all. The butterflies ended up going their separate ways.

This is poetic because this is how I would describe my friendship which “died” a few months ago.I would leave the friendship but then come back and then he would leave and it was this dysfunctional circle of of us leaving. It was reminding that it’s best to let go and move on.

The End of My Second Regeneration

Today is my 21st birthday! I’ve read that it takes your body seven years to reproduce every cell in the body so it’s almost like every seven years you become a new person.

Throughout the past seven years I have learned many things about life and about myself. I had to be strong because I had faced several defeats in life. I lost a lot. I had to learn to pick up the pieces for a lot of different situations.

Throughout the past seven years I had to face many challenges; transitioning to high school – which at first I thought was really scary, my parent’s separation, moving out of my childhood house into a smaller house with my ma.

I felt abandoned by many, I didn’t like to be close with people because I was always thinking of when this person would leave me like the other people have. But they left because I came across as someone who was too needy. I was only viewed like this because I overly cared about them and didn’t want to deal with the emotions of having someone else leave.

It hurts me looking back and viewing how much people used to care about me and then now I mean absolutely nothing to them. It meant something that our paths intertwined with one another. And just because our paths no longer intersect with one another it doesn’t mean it won’t again in the future.

I had a lot of trust issues where I didn’t believe people but then I would become overly trusting and believing in lies that I knew weren’t true. In fear of being alone. I became friends with people who would hurt me. I feared of cross-talk. I know that one of the most harmful weapons in the world is the tongue. I always see the good beyond the doubt in others. Whenever someone abandoned me I would vow to never get too close to people. Instead I ensured myself that this time I would not allow myself to have my feelings used, or my trust to get taken advantage of.

I felt alone throughout that. I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good enough sister, daughter, friend, cousin, every title I am. I was allowing myself to be defined by every mistake I made.

I started learning healthy boundaries with other people especially since I lacked healthy boundaries. It took me a long time to realize the friendships I was engaging myself in were unhealthy.

There were times where I didn’t like myself because I thought not a lot of people did. I was my worst critic. I always brought myself down with thinking all of these negative thoughts about myself.

I had to say good bye to many things and people I love. I had to say good bye to my childhood house that I lived in there for 16 years. That was heartbreaking. I never wanted to say goodbye to people or to things, I just kept holding onto things that were slowly harming me.

I used to play victim to receive sympathy for others. I always sought attention from others. I tried to control other people to get the outcomes I want. I sought perfection and tried to find it and always strive to ensure perfection wherever I went.

Now, I’m learning to accept things as they and not as how I want them to be. I am learning self-love and learning how to love myself again. Because if I don’t love myself for who I am, who will?

I’ve been learning to learn go and learn that everything is only temporary so enjoy it whilst it lasts. Nothing good can last forever and no pain can last forever. Enjoy the journey.

I’m identifying what a healthy relationship/friendship looks like. I am learning to trust myself. I take care of myself to ensure a healthy lifestyle. Despite that my best friend ended our 7.5 year friendship I have many other friends who genuinely care about me.

I try my best to stay in the present. I only look back unless looking back will improve my well-being in the present. I only look in the future if I am making plans.

I try my best to succeed in everything I do. If I fail, it’s okay. What’s important is how far I bounce back after falling. My butterfly wings might be fragile at times but when I let go off something my wings will always take me to where I need to go.

My second regeneration dealt with a lot of loss and sadness. It is with my sadness that I have transformed myself into finding my inner strength. I am accepting that everything happens for a reason even though I may not be wise enough to see it.

I am enjoying our new house. I had to let go of my past and let go of my processions that I carried with me throughout the years.I feel more organized about myself.

It took me a while to accept this journey but it helped me find myself. I know that everyday I am getting closer to happiness. I just got to keep going and never give up.

I am grateful for everyone that has crossed my path even if they aren’t apart of this journey. I try my best to keep your shrine alive in my heart no matter how much I allowed you to hurt me.

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

Stuck.

I often feel that no matter how many times I try to not think of something or a person, my thoughts become consumed by them.

I allow myself to feel caught in all of their chaos. Even if this person is no longer part of my life. I try to escape but something always draws me back to them.

I cut my ties with them and learn to let go for that it is when I can truly learn to grow.

21 Wishes

In honour of my 11th post and that June 3rd – MY BIRTHDAY! is approaching at a rapid rate I dedicate this post to my goals that I have set for myself in my upcoming year.

I’ll be entering my third regeneration. I read in a book that it takes the human body seven years for it to renew all of our cells in our body. Every seven years it’s almost like you’re a new you.

I’m accepting gifts, by the way! 🙂

1. Blog more frequently. I have been extremely busy in the past few weeks so my blog may not be as up-to-date as I would like it to be.

2. Exercise more. I enjoy exercising. It helps me stay centred and focused.

3. To travel to a new place. This will be a joyous adventure. It will allow me to expand my adventurous side.

4. To cook a new recipe everyday. This is a good one. I love cooking. I have so many recipes in my recipe box. I will also reorganize and keep you posted with what I try. Maybe I’ll make a separate blog… I will keep you informed.

5. To brush up on my French. Learning a language helps your brain stay in shape and also improves your memory. I’ve been inspired by my coworkers who can speak another language other than English.

6. To not let perfection be the enemy of the good. From as long as I could remember I thought that in order to be “good enough” EVERYTHING had to be perfect. But I’ve been learning and feeling that being “perfect” is exhausting. “Flawed is more perfect than perfection.”

7. To overcome a fear. I have too many fears that I need to overcome to help me grow. They range from heights to trains/train tracks and many more.

8. Drink more water and less sugar. I was inspired when I went to a friend’s place and all we drank was tea and water. I feel healthy about myself. I love adding cucumbers and lemons to my water. It’s quite scrumptious!

9. Meditate. I need to work on this because it will help me stay present. I feel more relaxed when I find ten minutes or so a day clearing my thoughts. When I focus on the present I can truly let go of the past and stop obsessing about the future.

10. To learn something new everyday. I would love to learn something new everyday. I would be able to gain 366 titbits of wisdom that I can use to help others.

11. Save more money. I need to start saving money for my future. I know I said earlier that I wouldn’t worry about my future, but it is never too early to start saving. You never know what the future holds so it is best to be safe and prepared.

12. To declutter. I am beginning to fall in love with having less stuff. It’s more relaxing. It adds more value to things that I own. I know that I should only buy things that I need and these items would give me joy. And whenever I don’t use something I pass that on to another person who sees that value.

13. To continue being an inspiration to others. I will continue to inspire others to be the best they can. I recently inspired one of my friends to run in the morning. I’ve inspired others to be more positive but spreading my optimism with them. I told friends that my passwords are quotes. I feel proud of myself to inspire others.

14. To attend community events. This will help me socialize with others more and to get support that is available.

15. To spend more time on myself. I used to view this act as selfish. But I learned to look at life through an airplane analogy. If there’s an emergency and when the oxygen masks come down you are told to place the mask on you first not your child, not your spouse not anyone else but yourself first. So in order to help others you must learn to help yourself first.

16. Spend more time with family. Last year I dedicated a lot of my time and energy with this one friend who meant the world to me. But a lot of things happened. I realized that our friendship was quite a pernicious friendship. So now I’m striving towards to find a healthy balance between my friends and family.

17. Worry less. Everyone knows that I can worry a lot. Like A LOT. My worries can be about the smallest worries like breaking a key or deciding what to wear or what to bring with me when I pack to go out. Since I worry about what I should bring with me I overpack thinking I need this or I’ll totally use this item. But in reality I wouldn’t need any of those things. I just think I do. I need to reprogram my thoughts and direct my thinking towards something positive and inspiring.

18. Continue being more organized. I often find that I can be rushing out the door regardless of how much time I give myself to get ready. I need to focus more on better organizational skills. I’m also going to reorganize and decorate my room. “A successful morning is prepared in the evening.”

19. Write a book. I’ve heard of this challenge about writing a novel in a month. Which means you would have to write over 1,000 words every day for a month. I’m not that creative nor do I have time so I’m going to aim for a book before my 22nd birthday. I would have to write about 137 words a day everyday for the next 366 days and I would have about a 50,000 word novel.

20. Create new art projects. I enjoy being creative. I use my creativity to make people cards, presents, quote pages and I draw pictures to show people how much I care about them. Now I have to think of better crafts to showcase my artistic abilities.

21. Let go. Letting go of everything and everyone that no longer serves me. If I don’t feel joy I need to detach myself from the person, situation, event object, etc., I must accept that I cannot control everything and everyone. Even though I like things to be done in a certain way I must learn to let go. I seek perfection on all of my affairs. But it is important and necessary for me to let go and allow everything to happen.

I will try my best to complete all of these dreams that I have for myself. I will blog about my progress and my struggles from time to time.

Until next time…

Everything is Only Temporary

Everything in life is only temporary. Forever is non-existent. Experiencing life and knowing that it is temporary is both a blessing and a curse.

When I was working a closing shift last night I accidentally dropped my citrine (my favourite gemstone) and it shattered into a million pieces – well maybe a million is a slight exaggeration. My best friend bought me that and it was shaped of a heart. Citrine is a yellow gemstone – my favourite colour. It was poetic that it shattered when it fell on the floor. My friend and I no longer talk anymore and our friendship died a few months ago. It’s almost like a part of me died with it.

Upon hearing all of the broken pieces hit the floor my immediate reaction was to pick up all of the pieces. But since we just turned the lights off that was merely impossible. When my friendship collapsed I wanted to pick up the pieces and tried my best to repair it. But I couldn’t.

Everything that breaks cannot be repaired to the way it was before it shattered. Somethings are best left broken. It is useless to water dead plants that cannot be saved.

It’s hard to accept that nothing lasts forever but when you do, your life will change. You will appreciate whatever emotion your feeling, you appreciate the people who are apart of your life. They are all part of your story. They helped shaped you into the person you are now.

The curse of knowing that everything is temporary is that all of the good moments and memories you share with people will not last forever. No matter how hard you try to make it last forever. It won’t. But it should motivate you to make awesome memories with them whilst they are still part of your life and to not take anything or anyone for granted because you never know when something apart of you will come to an end.

It is a blessing because just like all of the enjoyable times are short lived so are our worst feelings and hardships. They won’t last forever either. It gives us hope to never let the bad times bring us down. Your hardships allow you to grow when you accept and learn throughout your difficult times.

Living life with less is best because nothing is permanent and neither are your belongings since you will lose and break many of your prized processions throughout your life. So enjoy everything because it won’t last forever.

If everything lasted forever you wouldn’t appreciate it as much because it would always be there and you wouldn’t be able to grow from your losses.

Seize every moment life offers you. Never allow yourself to feel down because something good will happen right around the bend.

“The only things you can take with you when you leave this world are the things you’ve packed in your heart.” -Susan Gale

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe

“Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances, and never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.” -Marilyn Monroe