Day 31 of 192

I have a lot of clothes that needs to get sorted through, so I can keep the ones that actually make me happy. I don’t want to waste any space on something that doesn’t bring me happiness. And not just happiness, I noticed that I have clothes that no longer fit me anymore. I have clothes that I bought a long time ago, and I have grew so some shirts no longer cover my torso anymore.

This shirt is a prime example of what no longer fits me.

Thankful Thursdays #3

Another Thursday means another list of things I am thankful for. Every Thursday, I talk about what I am grateful throughout the week.

  1. I am grateful for having a day off. It is so nice to have a day off from work. I can actually do things that are for me, and I am able to relax. I work at a coffee shop, and it gets really busy, really fast, so you always have to be on the go.
  2. I am grateful for all of my books, because they also help me relax. Especially grateful for them right now, since they are my only form of travel, since I’m not actually allowed to travel.
  3. Since I am in the early stages of decluttering, I am finding it quite easy to detach myself from these items.
  4. I am grateful for my milk frother that allows me to make hot and cold lattes. Drinking teas makes me happy.
  5. I am thankful that my succulents are growing. I admire them, especially when they are growing into something more beautiful.

Breakthrough

I randomly came across this quote, and it reminded that no matter how terrible seems right now, I realize that I’m not always going to suffer and face bad days. It just means that all of this suffering is preparing me for my transformation. Growing through the concrete is hard work and requires a lot of strength. But once you get to the other side, you’ll realize that it was all for the best and that things worked out for you, far better than you had realized they would have gone.

Let’s use this quote as inspiration and acknowledgement that hardships are preparing us for better days and experiences. Never be afraid of a breakthrough.Breakthroughs add character, and helps you become the person you are destined to become. It reminds me to always be fierce and never back down to something that is going to strengthen me.

Spring Rain

I have thought of a new idea for my blog, I will publish either a poem or something I am currently writing. I would love to write a novel, or even a short story. I will be able to post that on Wednesdays. Stay tuned.

The air is warm.
The wind is cool.
The sun is out shining down
until the clouds start rolling in.
Drip drip
The rain slowly falls.
Until it suddenly begins to pour.
It’s okay though.
Everything happens at its moment.
Nothing comes to you at a moment later
then you need things to happen.
The clouds are just like us.
When we have been too strong,
for too long,
we begin to become overwhelmed with things.
Learn to let go.
We feel so much better when we let things go.
May we reap what we sow.
We can use our energy to grow flowers
or we can use excuses and grow weeds.
Our words also determine what we grow.
We can use our words to grow into the person we want to be or
we can use them to belittle ourselves.
May the spring rain fall on us to help us
nourish and grow strong and tall.
Use the rain to wash away all of the bad things,
like the things that keep us from growing.
Embrace yourself for all that you are.
Including your doubts.
Say them out loud.
And use the rain to wash them away.
Turn yourself into the sun.
And let yourself grow.
And never look back.

Image Credit: Kaye Manner, found on Google Images

Everything Happens For A Reason

We have all heard of the saying; “Everything happens for a reason even if we aren’t wise enough to it.”

I was at work earlier today and a friend of a friend of me crossed my path again. Him and I were talking and it was a really nice conversation. He hasn’t gotten the chance to check out my blog yet but I hope he does soon.

Anyway, I strongly believe that no matter what we are experiencing in our lives it is meant to happen. No need to manipulate or control the outcome of it. You are not in control. The Universe has a divine plan for us.

Every person we meet is there to teach us a lesson of some kind. Whether it to be to let go, to grow, to gain confidence in ourselves or to how to trust again. These are traits that are needed to rebuild ourselves after a hardship in our life.

Never give up. We can overcome anything because it is part of our path. Let it happen. And believe that it will be okay.

Saying “No” Is A Complete Sentence

I’ve learned that I don’t have to say yes to every offer, every person, every situation. If I feel uncomfortable I can simply just say no. I don’t need to justify myself to people.

In the past I didn’t do this.I thought I had to say yes to things or else I would be labeled as a “bad” friend. I did things in fear that if I didn’t people would be mad at me. I used to worry a lot about what thought of me. But I’m learning to only do what’s good for me. It’s not meant to be a selfish thing. Making yourself you’re number one priority is something we should all learn.

I understand that there would be times where you can’t always make yourself a number one priority. But try your best. What I mean is don’t allow people to walk over you. Stick up for yourself because if you don’t, who will?

Remember saying “no” is a complete sentence.

Our Fates Are Forever Intertwined

Whilst I was jogging and climbing the stairs at a local trail I looked down and I saw three yellow butterflies. It was very poetic. Well at least to me it was. I first saw one butterfly following another. The first one didn’t wait to be sought instead it flew further away. But then the leader went back to the follower. But then the follower left. The third butterfly was caught in the middle of it all. The butterflies ended up going their separate ways.

This is poetic because this is how I would describe my friendship which “died” a few months ago.I would leave the friendship but then come back and then he would leave and it was this dysfunctional circle of of us leaving. It was reminding that it’s best to let go and move on.

The End of My Second Regeneration

Today is my 21st birthday! I’ve read that it takes your body seven years to reproduce every cell in the body so it’s almost like every seven years you become a new person.

Throughout the past seven years I have learned many things about life and about myself. I had to be strong because I had faced several defeats in life. I lost a lot. I had to learn to pick up the pieces for a lot of different situations.

Throughout the past seven years I had to face many challenges; transitioning to high school – which at first I thought was really scary, my parent’s separation, moving out of my childhood house into a smaller house with my ma.

I felt abandoned by many, I didn’t like to be close with people because I was always thinking of when this person would leave me like the other people have. But they left because I came across as someone who was too needy. I was only viewed like this because I overly cared about them and didn’t want to deal with the emotions of having someone else leave.

It hurts me looking back and viewing how much people used to care about me and then now I mean absolutely nothing to them. It meant something that our paths intertwined with one another. And just because our paths no longer intersect with one another it doesn’t mean it won’t again in the future.

I had a lot of trust issues where I didn’t believe people but then I would become overly trusting and believing in lies that I knew weren’t true. In fear of being alone. I became friends with people who would hurt me. I feared of cross-talk. I know that one of the most harmful weapons in the world is the tongue. I always see the good beyond the doubt in others. Whenever someone abandoned me I would vow to never get too close to people. Instead I ensured myself that this time I would not allow myself to have my feelings used, or my trust to get taken advantage of.

I felt alone throughout that. I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good enough sister, daughter, friend, cousin, every title I am. I was allowing myself to be defined by every mistake I made.

I started learning healthy boundaries with other people especially since I lacked healthy boundaries. It took me a long time to realize the friendships I was engaging myself in were unhealthy.

There were times where I didn’t like myself because I thought not a lot of people did. I was my worst critic. I always brought myself down with thinking all of these negative thoughts about myself.

I had to say good bye to many things and people I love. I had to say good bye to my childhood house that I lived in there for 16 years. That was heartbreaking. I never wanted to say goodbye to people or to things, I just kept holding onto things that were slowly harming me.

I used to play victim to receive sympathy for others. I always sought attention from others. I tried to control other people to get the outcomes I want. I sought perfection and tried to find it and always strive to ensure perfection wherever I went.

Now, I’m learning to accept things as they and not as how I want them to be. I am learning self-love and learning how to love myself again. Because if I don’t love myself for who I am, who will?

I’ve been learning to learn go and learn that everything is only temporary so enjoy it whilst it lasts. Nothing good can last forever and no pain can last forever. Enjoy the journey.

I’m identifying what a healthy relationship/friendship looks like. I am learning to trust myself. I take care of myself to ensure a healthy lifestyle. Despite that my best friend ended our 7.5 year friendship I have many other friends who genuinely care about me.

I try my best to stay in the present. I only look back unless looking back will improve my well-being in the present. I only look in the future if I am making plans.

I try my best to succeed in everything I do. If I fail, it’s okay. What’s important is how far I bounce back after falling. My butterfly wings might be fragile at times but when I let go off something my wings will always take me to where I need to go.

My second regeneration dealt with a lot of loss and sadness. It is with my sadness that I have transformed myself into finding my inner strength. I am accepting that everything happens for a reason even though I may not be wise enough to see it.

I am enjoying our new house. I had to let go of my past and let go of my processions that I carried with me throughout the years.I feel more organized about myself.

It took me a while to accept this journey but it helped me find myself. I know that everyday I am getting closer to happiness. I just got to keep going and never give up.

I am grateful for everyone that has crossed my path even if they aren’t apart of this journey. I try my best to keep your shrine alive in my heart no matter how much I allowed you to hurt me.

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

The Box

Every Monday I will be posting a song about inspiration and anything positive!

I adore Katy Perry! This song is quite inspiring. It helps me get through a lot and stay optimistic. I hope you enjoy this song too. ❤