Day 15

We need to learn to let go of things that no longer serves us. This can be anything from physical objects, to digital clutter, to our feelings. We let go of the negative things and emotions, we now have more room for the things that bring us joy. We can feel happiness, we can truly appreciate the remaining processions. Instead of not being able to see them throughout the clutter.

If we continue to hold on to negative things, and feelings, then we are just going to continue to attract more negativity in our lives. And that is the last thing we want in our lives.

Today, I will learn when enough has become enough. I will release anything that has any negative vibes in my life. This way I am able to attract good and better things in my life. This also allows me to see things more clearly.

Read This When You Are Angry

Hi y’all. Sorry I haven’t been around much. I have just been going through something the past few days. More on that later.

So, this was a letter I wrote for my boyfriend. The theme was these letters, sealed in an envelope. It says “Open when… You are Sad” Other emotions were when you are happy, when you need motivation, when you are bored, when you need motivation, etc. I had written ten different letters, because it was for our 10 months anniversary.

This is what I wrote for Anger. It include quotes from movies we like, and proverbs I like.

Dear: Boyfriend,

“Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!” -Dory, Finding Nemo

“If you are pateient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Chinese Proverb

It’s okay to be mad every now and again. It’s HOW you handle it, that matters. When you’re mad, it’s important to not say something that you do not mean. It’s also important to respect people’s belongings, and feelings.

Allow yourself to be angry, no need to disguise it, or dismiss your feelings of anger. Next learn to sit with your anger. Don’t act on your anger, just sit and think about it. No need to rush your thoughts and or actions. Just sit. Take your time to feel this emotion – feel your heart beat, observe your breath. Meditate with your feelings. Decide you are not looking for a way to get even, or to gain power.

Look back on what kind of mood you were in before the situation (the one that got you mad). It may not have been the incident that is to blame. Ask yourself; “Why is this bothering me so much?” Is it really what someone else did, or are you feeling angry because of what you are interpreting their actions to mean? For example you get mad at someone for not listening, because you interpret it as this person not caring about you. Take a look at your actions. Look for all areas where you may be projecting your own traits onto someone else to get closer to the root of your feelings. Jot your feelings down in a journal. Let it all out.

Now that you’ve spent some time dealing with your anger, initiate a conversation with this person about what bothered you in a way without you expressing your anger in a rude or violent manner. The way to do that is by using; “I feel…” language. This way, you are not assuming this person did something intentionally, or that you come across as assuming something. Another phrase that is beneficial is “It seemed to me like…”. This helps you explain your understanding of the situation without assuming something of the other person. You are simply expressing how their actions make you feel so they have an understanding about how their actions impact you. Resist the urge to bring up other grievances, instead stick to the situation at hand, and discuss those at another time, if you still need to. Validate the person’s perspective. It is important to value the way they see the situation, too. Focus on creating a solution. If your goal is to get the other person to admit that they were wrong, you’re probably end up in a power struggle.

Learn from what you value. This situation taught you something useful about what you value in people. Learn what you need, maybe you needed that lesson, to improve a relationship. Learn from it, own it, act on it. Learn how to communicate clearly. This helps you to fully express yourself in a way for you to be honest. This also helps you to learn how you can improve your response to anger from escalating. Maybe you have learnt to put more space between your feelings, and responses. Next, reflect and learn what you’ll do differently in another situation.

And lastly, forgive. After the person has apologized, one way to finish the conversation is by saying. “I love you. I forgive you.”

“For ever minute you spend being angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

Write in a Journal

In this edition of Feel Good Fridays, I’m hear to talk about the benefits of writing in a journal. If you aren’t much a writer, you can draw a picture, or just jot down some ideas and feelings.

This is a post where I try to encourage us to incorporate small ways to make healthy choices and feel good about ourselves even on what appears to the worst day ever.

Writing in a journal is so simple. It has the power to help calm our minds from racing. You can write out a to-do list, which helps you organize your tasks and shows you which ones to prioritize the important ones, and what needs to be done next. You can write about your goals, and how to make them come true. You can use it to keep your goals on track.

It helps reduce stress, while increasing your creativity as well. It’s your journal, so you can decorate it, however you see fits your style. You can decide when and how often you wish to write in it. You can write every day, or weekly. There are no rules, make your own.

The Feelings Tag

Hey, so I’m just catching up on some of these tags. I hope everyone is doing well.

I was tagged by https://potbellybump.wordpress.com/home-3/, this is an amazing blog expressing the love for Harry Potter, other books, writing and amazing art work. You should definitely check out this blog.

Rules

  • Thank the blogger who tagged you and give a link to their blog.
  • Answer the five feelings given to you.
  • Write the reason in five to six lines of why does that particular book come under that feeling.
  • Nominate between 5-12 other bloggers.
  • Give your nominees five feelings, too.
  • Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post.

Feelings Given to Me:

  1. Your all time favourite book.
    I have a lot of favourite books… But the first one that comes to mind is Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. I first read that book when I was eight years old, after my sister told me I should read it. She loved that book so much. It was the start of an amazing adventure. Although I am sad that my sister never finished reading the series, but at least I get to introduce my niece to these books. So, I can’t wait for the three of us to be part of that adventure!
  2. Book genre that you’ll never like to read
    I don’t know if you would classify this as a genre, but I’m not really fond of geographical fiction, which I guess these books are just basically geography textbooks. I only like geography if it involves travelling. But for some reason, I just wasn’t a big fan of geography. I tried liking it, but it just wasn’t for me, I suppose.
  3. Book that taught something genius.
    I wouldn’t say this taught me something that’s groundbreaking, but I really enjoyed reading The Happiness Project. That book did teach me things about happiness. In the introduction, she talks about how 50% of your happiness comes from your age, marital status, income, health and genetics. And then she later says that we control half of our happiness. We can either choose to be happy, or find reasons why we aren’t.
  4. Book that has a character very similar to yourself.
    I think I’m like Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series. I say this because she is someone who takes her education very seriously, and she loves reading and visiting her library. She likes to have a close and small circle of friends. In other words she is very cautious of who she hangs around with.
  5. Book that you contemplated to read, but couldn’t read.
    I can’t recall the last book I started reading, but couldn’t finish. The books I have been reading, are the books that I have always wanted to read, and have been recommended to me.

I tag the following…

My Feelings For You

  1. Which character would you love to have as your roommate? Please provide the name of the book.
  2. A book that made you want to travel.
  3. Name a book that made you feel happy.
  4. Which book would you recommend everyone reads at least once?
  5. If there is a movie or TV adaption of a book, or a book series, do you prefer to read the book, or watch the movie/TV show first? And why?

Withholding

It’s another Eckhart Tolle Friday to get the weekend started with wisdom and enlightenment.

“Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.”

-Eckhart Tolle

I really enjoyed this quote because it reminded me to think positively about myself and the things I want in life. This quote I feel, is talking about how we might think that the world may be withholding a positive affirmation from allowing us to feel a certain way. Perhaps you are feeling like the world is pressing down on you and wondering to the universe why you aren’t happy, instead of focusing on the reasons why you can be happy.

I like to believe that whatever you are thinking, you are subconsciously sending out to the universe. So if you want to be happy, you just begin training your mind to simply be happy. The universe gives you what you send out. So don’t ever think that the world is withholding anything from you. All you have to do is change your perception and attitude.

Don’t Overreact

I have a bad habit of overreacting. It is something that I’m trying to improve myself. Improving yourself you can have more confidence in you.

Over overreacting is something that we shouldn’t do. We don’t have to be rude to get our points across to others. We could cause the people we are talking to feel bad about it.

Today I will not overreact instead I would thoroughly express my feelings without overreacting or allowing others to feel hurt by it.

The End of My Second Regeneration

Today is my 21st birthday! I’ve read that it takes your body seven years to reproduce every cell in the body so it’s almost like every seven years you become a new person.

Throughout the past seven years I have learned many things about life and about myself. I had to be strong because I had faced several defeats in life. I lost a lot. I had to learn to pick up the pieces for a lot of different situations.

Throughout the past seven years I had to face many challenges; transitioning to high school – which at first I thought was really scary, my parent’s separation, moving out of my childhood house into a smaller house with my ma.

I felt abandoned by many, I didn’t like to be close with people because I was always thinking of when this person would leave me like the other people have. But they left because I came across as someone who was too needy. I was only viewed like this because I overly cared about them and didn’t want to deal with the emotions of having someone else leave.

It hurts me looking back and viewing how much people used to care about me and then now I mean absolutely nothing to them. It meant something that our paths intertwined with one another. And just because our paths no longer intersect with one another it doesn’t mean it won’t again in the future.

I had a lot of trust issues where I didn’t believe people but then I would become overly trusting and believing in lies that I knew weren’t true. In fear of being alone. I became friends with people who would hurt me. I feared of cross-talk. I know that one of the most harmful weapons in the world is the tongue. I always see the good beyond the doubt in others. Whenever someone abandoned me I would vow to never get too close to people. Instead I ensured myself that this time I would not allow myself to have my feelings used, or my trust to get taken advantage of.

I felt alone throughout that. I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good enough sister, daughter, friend, cousin, every title I am. I was allowing myself to be defined by every mistake I made.

I started learning healthy boundaries with other people especially since I lacked healthy boundaries. It took me a long time to realize the friendships I was engaging myself in were unhealthy.

There were times where I didn’t like myself because I thought not a lot of people did. I was my worst critic. I always brought myself down with thinking all of these negative thoughts about myself.

I had to say good bye to many things and people I love. I had to say good bye to my childhood house that I lived in there for 16 years. That was heartbreaking. I never wanted to say goodbye to people or to things, I just kept holding onto things that were slowly harming me.

I used to play victim to receive sympathy for others. I always sought attention from others. I tried to control other people to get the outcomes I want. I sought perfection and tried to find it and always strive to ensure perfection wherever I went.

Now, I’m learning to accept things as they and not as how I want them to be. I am learning self-love and learning how to love myself again. Because if I don’t love myself for who I am, who will?

I’ve been learning to learn go and learn that everything is only temporary so enjoy it whilst it lasts. Nothing good can last forever and no pain can last forever. Enjoy the journey.

I’m identifying what a healthy relationship/friendship looks like. I am learning to trust myself. I take care of myself to ensure a healthy lifestyle. Despite that my best friend ended our 7.5 year friendship I have many other friends who genuinely care about me.

I try my best to stay in the present. I only look back unless looking back will improve my well-being in the present. I only look in the future if I am making plans.

I try my best to succeed in everything I do. If I fail, it’s okay. What’s important is how far I bounce back after falling. My butterfly wings might be fragile at times but when I let go off something my wings will always take me to where I need to go.

My second regeneration dealt with a lot of loss and sadness. It is with my sadness that I have transformed myself into finding my inner strength. I am accepting that everything happens for a reason even though I may not be wise enough to see it.

I am enjoying our new house. I had to let go of my past and let go of my processions that I carried with me throughout the years.I feel more organized about myself.

It took me a while to accept this journey but it helped me find myself. I know that everyday I am getting closer to happiness. I just got to keep going and never give up.

I am grateful for everyone that has crossed my path even if they aren’t apart of this journey. I try my best to keep your shrine alive in my heart no matter how much I allowed you to hurt me.

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

Ignite Your Creativity

The world is like a blank canvas. It’s up to you to use your heart as a paint brush to paint your life.

We use colours to reflect our moods; we associate blue with sadness, green with envious, yellow with happiness and red can represent anger or love. Find your colours and embrace it!

We are all creative people we just need to spend more time with our emotions to wholly express our feelings. There is no reason to be fearful of being your true self. For there is no wrong or right way to decorate your environment.

Stay true to you and never be afraid to show your true colours. When in doubt, add more glitter. Never let anyone dim your sparkle.

Like Pocahontas sang; “Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?”