One Year Later…

A year ago, today, I was hit by a car walking to work. I haven’t even told many people in my family, I guess I just didn’t want them to worry about me. Not many of my family follows my blog, at least not yet anyway. I was extremely thankful and lucky that I didn’t die, or suffer any life threatening injuries from my accident. I only suffered bruises and a bit of swelling. Not even a broken bone. I think my Guardian Angel was my Great Aunt. I like to think that she was watching over me protecting me that day. I remember the last time, I had visited her, she called me her girl, and hugged me. I knew that I always held a special place in her heart.

If you would like to read the original story of my accident, although it may be a bit graphic for some readers. I tried my best not to be too graphic. You can read the original story here, https://threeyellowdaisies.ca/2020/05/29/second-chance/ The purpose of this post is to provide hope and wisdom to other people, and not so much of the story of the accident.

Now I spend my days trying to cram doing all the things that make me happy throughout my days, because we truly don’t know when our last day may be. I was able to start writing my blog again, five months after my accident. I first started this blog in May of 2015, and managed to write it for a year, and took a break, and nearly forgotten about it for four years. But here I am, back and better than ever. And here to stay.

I know that they are many people who lose their lives due to motor vehicle accidents every year. In Canada there were 1,922 people who died in 2018 from a motor vehicle traffic collision. (1) I am truly sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one from a car accident. My heart goes out to you all.

A year ago today, I am reminded that any one of us can die so suddenly, so let’s not waste a day, or even a second for holding a grudge, or hatred towards someone. Why waste a day, being anything, but happy? We should make every one of our days count for something. We should add joy and happiness in someone else’s day. The best part is that doesn’t take a lot of effort. When we make other people happy, it also makes us happy, too. It’s a win win situation. And sometimes people don’t get so lucky with having a second chance at life. So find something that makes you happy, and brings joy to your life. Life truly does go by pretty fast, faster than we think.

I hope everyone can use this tragedy as a reminder to go out and find your passion. Really start living your life. You don’t know what the future is going to bring you, so don’t let it pass you by.

A year later, I still feel pain from time to time in my right thigh where I got hit. I still get a bit anxious going out for a walk, especially at busy interactions, and busy roads. I have always been cautious crossing the street before my accident. And now, I’m even more cautious, if that’s even possible. I avoided having to do any obligations and errands for today, so I don’t have to go outside. It must sound a bit lame, but I just don’t have the strength to go out on the anniversary of my accident.

Getting hit by a car, really changed my life for the better. It gave me motivation to take over my life, again. I learned that I was too focused of living my life to other people’s standards, and not so much as to my standards. I was doing something that people wanted me to do. I even started studying accounting a few years ago, since people told me that I should be an accountant, because I was organized, had a good memory, and good with numbers. I learned that maybe, that’s what I’m not meant to do. And now I am slowly doing the things I want to do for myself. I found my true passions. In the fifth grade I wanted to be a writer, and right now I have been dedicating time to write. I want to add joy to people’s lives, by helping them see the good in themselves, and helping them realize that things do get better.

Throughout the year, other areas of my life have changed, my boyfriend and I no longer live with his family, but now we live with his friend and his family. I no longer work at that coffee shop. Not for reasons related to the accident. That’s just how life worked out for us. I couldn’t be more happy. I was working for someone else’s dreams, and not really have a lot of time to focus on my dreams, and what my passions are. Right now, I have been focusing on my blog, and writing some stories. That is what I am passionate about.

I see this day as a reminder to live my life, chase after my dreams, not try to appease what people want me to do, or they say to me when I’ve just been writing some ideas down. Even though the accident didn’t make much sense, like I always asked myself, why did that happen to me? Why did I lived? I really started questioning my purpose. I’m not working at the moment, but I have been using this time to work on what I am passionate about, which is writing. How thankful I am that I only ended up with bruises. Because I know, not everyone is as lucky. I am thankful that I still get to help others, and that I get to be here for my loved ones. The universe saw something greater in me, than I was capable of seeing in myself, and the universe didn’t want my story to end. This accident ignited a fire in me, that I should do something in my life. It reminds me to always find my purpose and happiness, and go in that direction, and not move backwards.

I hope that people can take away that their life doesn’t last forever, only their legacy does. It’s best not to waste your purpose by living someone else’s dreams. Go and chase your passion. Life is limited, so go out there and make something out of your life.

  1. https://tc.canada.ca/en/road-transportation/motor-vehicle-safety/canadian-motor-vehicle-traffic-collision-statistics-2018

Freeing Yourself

Every Friday I write a passage from Eckhart Tolle’s book. He is a world famous spiritual teacher and he encourages us to be present.

“You may think that you need more time to understand the past or become free of it, in other words, that the future will eventually free you of the past. That is a delusion. Only the present can free you of the past.”

-Eckhart Tolle

In this paragraph of his book, Practicing the Power of Now, he is talking about the only way you can free yourself from the past, is to be present. I would like to think that he wrote this by being inspired from Buddha. Buddha describes enlightenment of ending all suffering. So whenever you find yourself in the present, you are able to find enlightenment. Which you may feel enlightened, although other people may feel it faster than others, and that’s okay. The important thing is, is to not give up. Always bring yourself back to the present moment.

Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle

Last week, I forgot to post my Eckhart Tolle quote, so I will be posting two posts today to make it up. For those who do not know him, he is the author of The Power of Now. It is a book about stillness and being mindful.

“So the single most vital step on your journey toward enlightenment is this: learn to disidentify from your mind. Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, the light of your consciousness grows stronger.”

-Eckhart Tolle, Power of Now page 21

What I like about these two sentences is that Tolle is mentioning that whenever we find our minds in stillness, we become more aware of who what we are as well as our thinking. This allows us to have a deeper connection with things and people in our life.

When your mind stops stressing and thinking about the past and future, you learn to become more aware of everything that is going on around you,

In the book he uses Buddha’s definition of enlightenment, which in simple terms, the end of suffering.

Second Chance

*Warning* This blog post may be graphic for some readers.

About six months ago, my boyfriend was walking me to work. During that time it was our winter, so I had slipped and fallen on some ice on my right thigh. It hurt a bit, but I shook it off as I had ways to go. That whole morning, even getting ready for work felt like an off day for me. I wasn’t in the best mood. To be honest, I was feeling a bit discouraged that day.

We were almost at my work, when the light had turned green – our right away. And because I was angry that day, I was walking fast, faster than my boyfriend, and the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I had just gotten hit by a car that was turning left and he ran right into me. I was too busy thinking in my head to hear the car turning. My boyfriend tried his best to grab me and pull me out of the way. He felt me slip out of his arms.

I was crying, but I was strong enough to stand up afterwards. My mind has never let me remember the actual feeling of getting hit by the car. Which I am so thankful for. It really was scary. I just remember the feeling pain on my face and on my right thigh, (it didn’t help that I had previously fallen on it, 20 minutes prior) which is what had hit the car. I also remember being scared to touch my face and thigh in fears of feeling broken bones. After I had placed my hands over those body parts, I just felt the skin being swollen, nothing was broken, although I don’t have a Medical Degree, so I couldn’t be 100% certain.

My boyfriend took me over to a side walk where he took his coat off and used that as a cushion for me to sit down on. Then a familiar customer approached me asking me if I was okay, because I assumed not a lot of time has passed by, so she must have saw the accident. She was nice enough to call for help on my behalf. I told her that I worked at the coffee shop just up the street, where she was heading. She had spoke to the manager explaining the situation to my manager. My manager came out and saw me and gave me a hug.

I just remembered looking at the car and seeing his side mirror hanging off over his door handle.

Not much time after that, help showed up. My boyfriend and I both gave the police our statements. We then went to a hospital to get looked at to make sure that I was okay. After a doctor had examined me, she told me that I was lucky. Nothing was broken, just bruises and a bit of swelling.

It was in those moments that I truly was lucky. I could have suffered life-threatening injuries, or worst, I could have died, but the universe told me that my purpose and story wasn’t over. The universe knew that I had more to offer and bring into this world. It made me feel that I was needed and people needed me too.

I was also reminded me that I should be chasing my own dreams and passions and not be persuaded by what others want me to be. I pursued accounting thinking that I would love it, and be good at it. And also because people were encouraging telling me that I would be good at it, as well. But when I was studying it, I felt like my heart wasn’t it.

When they placed my hospital bracelet, I remembered the other times that I had to wear one in the past. Being in the hospital, made me feel like a patient in Grey’s Anatomy. It reminded when I was younger, I always wanted to be a nurse. I love helping people, I’m an optimistic and a caring person who has a lot of patience. To me, those are good qualities to have as a nurse. I know there are many other qualities to be a nurse, but those are the first ones that come to mind.

Later that night, because I had fallen and broke the concrete with my face. I ended up chipping one of my tooth, that I previously chipped two years ago, almost to the day. It was just not my day that day. I noticed because I was eating my dinner and a part of my filling came off. But I am thankful for all of the lessons it has taught me.

Although, to be honest I laid in bed for the next week or so. It wasn’t so much the aftermath of getting hit by the car that knocked me out, it was mostly the anxiety of having to go back outside. I also had a purple, dark blue bruise on my face, so that made me feel a bit self conscious. It was a very scary time for me. Fortunately, the bruise was a pale yellow greenish bruise by the time I returned to work a week later. It reminded that everything is only temporary, this pain won’t last forever.

I just felt a lot of life changing moments during the whole incident. I felt like beforehand, I wasn’t in the best place, emotionally; I often felt like I wasn’t me. I felt like I had outgrew a lot of things, like I was hungry and wanting new and better things for myself. I wanted a new job, a new place to live. The whole incident taught me to not settle for things that made me unhappy, instead choose happiness.

It made me realize that I am stronger than I even realized. I am capable of making changes in my life. This incident made me count my blessings, and to always be thankful no matter what happens to me. It was like this whole thing was a teaching moment. It reinforced everything that I preach in my blog, to be thankful, to never settle, to always believe in yourself and to overcome your anxieties and fears. I can really go and do anything I want to in my life.

It was also a reminder to always live your life like it is your last day. I know that made sound like a cliche, but it’s so true. You should always fill your days doing something you love. Always tell your friends and family how much they mean to you. No one knows when their time is going to run out. Don’t let the bad times bring you down, you can always stand up, no matter how hard the universe may bring you down. Use your troubles as stepping stones for something better. Learn to count your blessings, not your burdens.

Enlightenment

“There are massive stacks of bad choices in my backyard.
Haven’t finished cleaning the place up
but I’m workin’ on it
and clearly I have not yet reached enlightenment
for more than a fleeting moment
but I’m tryin’
and I found somethin’ here I want ya to have.
It’s not much
just a story
but it’s all I’ve got
so take it.”

I am working on finding enlightenment because there have been many bad choices that I have made. I unintentionally hurt people that I care a lot about, some of these people are still in my life others not so much. It’s a live and learn kind of thing that I need to work on.