Read This When You Are Angry

Hi y’all. Sorry I haven’t been around much. I have just been going through something the past few days. More on that later.

So, this was a letter I wrote for my boyfriend. The theme was these letters, sealed in an envelope. It says “Open when… You are Sad” Other emotions were when you are happy, when you need motivation, when you are bored, when you need motivation, etc. I had written ten different letters, because it was for our 10 months anniversary.

This is what I wrote for Anger. It include quotes from movies we like, and proverbs I like.

Dear: Boyfriend,

“Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!” -Dory, Finding Nemo

“If you are pateient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Chinese Proverb

It’s okay to be mad every now and again. It’s HOW you handle it, that matters. When you’re mad, it’s important to not say something that you do not mean. It’s also important to respect people’s belongings, and feelings.

Allow yourself to be angry, no need to disguise it, or dismiss your feelings of anger. Next learn to sit with your anger. Don’t act on your anger, just sit and think about it. No need to rush your thoughts and or actions. Just sit. Take your time to feel this emotion – feel your heart beat, observe your breath. Meditate with your feelings. Decide you are not looking for a way to get even, or to gain power.

Look back on what kind of mood you were in before the situation (the one that got you mad). It may not have been the incident that is to blame. Ask yourself; “Why is this bothering me so much?” Is it really what someone else did, or are you feeling angry because of what you are interpreting their actions to mean? For example you get mad at someone for not listening, because you interpret it as this person not caring about you. Take a look at your actions. Look for all areas where you may be projecting your own traits onto someone else to get closer to the root of your feelings. Jot your feelings down in a journal. Let it all out.

Now that you’ve spent some time dealing with your anger, initiate a conversation with this person about what bothered you in a way without you expressing your anger in a rude or violent manner. The way to do that is by using; “I feel…” language. This way, you are not assuming this person did something intentionally, or that you come across as assuming something. Another phrase that is beneficial is “It seemed to me like…”. This helps you explain your understanding of the situation without assuming something of the other person. You are simply expressing how their actions make you feel so they have an understanding about how their actions impact you. Resist the urge to bring up other grievances, instead stick to the situation at hand, and discuss those at another time, if you still need to. Validate the person’s perspective. It is important to value the way they see the situation, too. Focus on creating a solution. If your goal is to get the other person to admit that they were wrong, you’re probably end up in a power struggle.

Learn from what you value. This situation taught you something useful about what you value in people. Learn what you need, maybe you needed that lesson, to improve a relationship. Learn from it, own it, act on it. Learn how to communicate clearly. This helps you to fully express yourself in a way for you to be honest. This also helps you to learn how you can improve your response to anger from escalating. Maybe you have learnt to put more space between your feelings, and responses. Next, reflect and learn what you’ll do differently in another situation.

And lastly, forgive. After the person has apologized, one way to finish the conversation is by saying. “I love you. I forgive you.”

“For ever minute you spend being angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

One Year Later…

A year ago, today, I was hit by a car walking to work. I haven’t even told many people in my family, I guess I just didn’t want them to worry about me. Not many of my family follows my blog, at least not yet anyway. I was extremely thankful and lucky that I didn’t die, or suffer any life threatening injuries from my accident. I only suffered bruises and a bit of swelling. Not even a broken bone. I think my Guardian Angel was my Great Aunt. I like to think that she was watching over me protecting me that day. I remember the last time, I had visited her, she called me her girl, and hugged me. I knew that I always held a special place in her heart.

If you would like to read the original story of my accident, although it may be a bit graphic for some readers. I tried my best not to be too graphic. You can read the original story here, https://threeyellowdaisies.ca/2020/05/29/second-chance/ The purpose of this post is to provide hope and wisdom to other people, and not so much of the story of the accident.

Now I spend my days trying to cram doing all the things that make me happy throughout my days, because we truly don’t know when our last day may be. I was able to start writing my blog again, five months after my accident. I first started this blog in May of 2015, and managed to write it for a year, and took a break, and nearly forgotten about it for four years. But here I am, back and better than ever. And here to stay.

I know that they are many people who lose their lives due to motor vehicle accidents every year. In Canada there were 1,922 people who died in 2018 from a motor vehicle traffic collision. (1) I am truly sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one from a car accident. My heart goes out to you all.

A year ago today, I am reminded that any one of us can die so suddenly, so let’s not waste a day, or even a second for holding a grudge, or hatred towards someone. Why waste a day, being anything, but happy? We should make every one of our days count for something. We should add joy and happiness in someone else’s day. The best part is that doesn’t take a lot of effort. When we make other people happy, it also makes us happy, too. It’s a win win situation. And sometimes people don’t get so lucky with having a second chance at life. So find something that makes you happy, and brings joy to your life. Life truly does go by pretty fast, faster than we think.

I hope everyone can use this tragedy as a reminder to go out and find your passion. Really start living your life. You don’t know what the future is going to bring you, so don’t let it pass you by.

A year later, I still feel pain from time to time in my right thigh where I got hit. I still get a bit anxious going out for a walk, especially at busy interactions, and busy roads. I have always been cautious crossing the street before my accident. And now, I’m even more cautious, if that’s even possible. I avoided having to do any obligations and errands for today, so I don’t have to go outside. It must sound a bit lame, but I just don’t have the strength to go out on the anniversary of my accident.

Getting hit by a car, really changed my life for the better. It gave me motivation to take over my life, again. I learned that I was too focused of living my life to other people’s standards, and not so much as to my standards. I was doing something that people wanted me to do. I even started studying accounting a few years ago, since people told me that I should be an accountant, because I was organized, had a good memory, and good with numbers. I learned that maybe, that’s what I’m not meant to do. And now I am slowly doing the things I want to do for myself. I found my true passions. In the fifth grade I wanted to be a writer, and right now I have been dedicating time to write. I want to add joy to people’s lives, by helping them see the good in themselves, and helping them realize that things do get better.

Throughout the year, other areas of my life have changed, my boyfriend and I no longer live with his family, but now we live with his friend and his family. I no longer work at that coffee shop. Not for reasons related to the accident. That’s just how life worked out for us. I couldn’t be more happy. I was working for someone else’s dreams, and not really have a lot of time to focus on my dreams, and what my passions are. Right now, I have been focusing on my blog, and writing some stories. That is what I am passionate about.

I see this day as a reminder to live my life, chase after my dreams, not try to appease what people want me to do, or they say to me when I’ve just been writing some ideas down. Even though the accident didn’t make much sense, like I always asked myself, why did that happen to me? Why did I lived? I really started questioning my purpose. I’m not working at the moment, but I have been using this time to work on what I am passionate about, which is writing. How thankful I am that I only ended up with bruises. Because I know, not everyone is as lucky. I am thankful that I still get to help others, and that I get to be here for my loved ones. The universe saw something greater in me, than I was capable of seeing in myself, and the universe didn’t want my story to end. This accident ignited a fire in me, that I should do something in my life. It reminds me to always find my purpose and happiness, and go in that direction, and not move backwards.

I hope that people can take away that their life doesn’t last forever, only their legacy does. It’s best not to waste your purpose by living someone else’s dreams. Go and chase your passion. Life is limited, so go out there and make something out of your life.

  1. https://tc.canada.ca/en/road-transportation/motor-vehicle-safety/canadian-motor-vehicle-traffic-collision-statistics-2018

National Ice Cream Day

Hi everyone!

Did you know that the third Sunday of July is National Ice Cream Day? Well it is!

My boyfriend and I stayed in and celebrated this “holiday”! We also celebrated meeting six years ago, today. So that was a lot of fun.

We had chocolate ice cream with peanut butter, and mini peanut butter cups. It is as delicious as it sounds!

Chicken and Shrimp Pad Thai

My boyfriend took us out for lunch for our 11 month anniversary to my favourite restaurant.

Although this time we also ordered chicken and shrimp pad Thai with Brussels sprouts and slices of oranges, served with lime. It was delicious!

I am so happy to have him in my life.

63 Years of Marriage

Today my family celebrated my grandparents’ anniversary at my aunt’s house. Unfortunately my uncle’s wife wasn’t feeling well so they couldn’t attend. We missed them but we still had a joyous evening.

My cousin and his wife who lives away was there. That was really nice.

Since my uncle didn’t get to go my dad and his girlfriend drove my grandparents home and myself obviously. It was just before midnight when we left my aunt’s house so we wished them a happy anniversary at the strike of midnight.

They told us stories from their wedding and memories of my dad being a little kid and memories from their childhood. It was a great way to end the night.

I hope that I can experience love that lasts that long. 🙂 ❤