Day 66

This lesson is from Sunday.

I have learned that it is okay to ask for help. I have asked my boyfriend for help and see how him and I can come up with solutions to save up money, in order for us to pay down our debts. I have also asked my dad for some money, since my boyfriend had a few days off because there wasn’t any work available for him. I have learned that it is totally okay to ask for help when you need it. We all need each other’s support every now and again.

Today, I will not express any shame of asking others for help. There is no shame to ask anyone. We need to remember that we have a support system, and that everyone is a part of that, is here and willing to help us.

Day Seven

This is from Thursday (yesterday).

Never be afraid to ask for help, and never be afraid to give help to others. My Mama had asked me if I could help her pack for her move. I was happy to help. I made some beef soup for dinner, and I made it in my crock pot. I knew that when she dropped me off back at home that the soup would be finished. I was able to give her some soup. My mama enjoyed the soup.

I love helping people. I have helped out a lot of my family throughout the week, I baby say my niece the other day, so my sister can pick up a shift at work. And then I started helping mom with her packing. It was fun to spend some time with her, since we haven’t since the whole pandemic.

I sometimes feel bad asking others for help, because I know how busy my family is, and some family members I talk to, live far away. So, I mostly just ask for advice, or we just talk. But that’s okay. If I need any help, I normally just ask my boyfriend.

Today, I will not be afraid to ask for help, nor will I be afraid to give help to others. It is a freeing and powerful feeling to be able to help others.

Actions Speak For Themselves

As much as I wish, I wish I could only see the good in the world, but unfortunately that isn’t the whole truth. I have seen the not so good parts of the world, too. I wish I haven’t.

Some people make foolish choices, people lie, others backstab people close to them. Lovers who find each other, only to realize their timing is off. People who miss opportunities.

Yes, people make mistakes all the time. That’s sometimes the only way we learn, is through trial and error.

It’s how you handle your mistakes that is important. How you heal the ones you hurt and how you fix things that are broken. These are all important things to consider and to think about. You should be having a conversation after an argument to discuss next steps, and what happens next.

I have allowed other people, who I thought were close to me, hurt me, more than once. I am too kind of a person to push someone away despite them hurting me.

“If someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.”

-Maya Angelou

One of Oprah’s life lesson she has learnt from Maya Angelou is that once someone shows you their “dark side”, you should know they are showing you how they truly are to you. What I like about this quote is that you can’t really blame the other person for hurting you, because they have already showed you who they are. Sometimes people want to see the good in others, but sometimes, it’s not always there. It’s not okay to allow someone to hurt you or disappoint you over, and over again. That isn’t healthy, that’s the definition of insanity. Insanity is allowing the same thing to happen again, and again, but expecting a different outcome to occur. When you think things will get better, by doing nothing, you are lying to yourself.

People fail to realize that sometimes their tongue acts like a double edged sword. Once they release their words, they sometimes say something hurtful to their loved ones. I say double edged sword, because sometimes, not all the times, does that person feel bad for saying those words. Unfortunately that isn’t always the case.

People lie to you from time to time, not even thinking about it. These people think they didn’t do anything wrong. They walk around thinking that you’re naive or oblivious, and not aware that you can see right through them, and you know that they are hiding something from you. But their logic is, that if they don’t mention anything to you, then it doesn’t exist. They think that they aren’t lying, despite withholding the truth from you, or continuing to feed you white lies.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

-Mark Twain

I would rather be hurt with the truth once, instead of being sugarcoated, and have someone “protect” with a lie over, and over again.

I am not here to say mean stuff regarding other people, but it’s hurtful seeing people hurting the people they say they love. And I mean, they probably do, but you don’t go hurting the ones you love. That isn’t cool, nor acceptable at all.

“Don’t expect the person that hurt you to be the person who saves you.”

If someone has hurt you, and they never apologized for it, and they are no longer in your life. You just got to remove the feelings of hatred, or sadness from your heart. Those feelings are negative to have. Whenever you think of someone that has hurt you, forgive them, but don’t forget the lessons they have taught you. When you think of this person, send them forgiveness into the universe and good wishes to this person. Then let go with grace. Love can’t enter a heart that has hatred running through its veins.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

People should learn to treat other people better. They should do anything to see their loved ones happy, no matter what. The one who wipes away your tears, because you were crying from laughing too much, not because they made you sad. Someone who can’t wait to hear all about your day. Someone who makes you happy, someone who doesn’t like seeing you sad. Someone who wants you to succeed.

If you don’t have a person like this in your life, don’t feel sad, you’ll find this person. I like to think that everyone has a soulmate.

And for everyone who has had their heart broken, and never received an apology. I am so sorry that no one saw your value, but it’s their loss, because I’m sure whomever is reading this, is amazing.

One Year Later…

A year ago, today, I was hit by a car walking to work. I haven’t even told many people in my family, I guess I just didn’t want them to worry about me. Not many of my family follows my blog, at least not yet anyway. I was extremely thankful and lucky that I didn’t die, or suffer any life threatening injuries from my accident. I only suffered bruises and a bit of swelling. Not even a broken bone. I think my Guardian Angel was my Great Aunt. I like to think that she was watching over me protecting me that day. I remember the last time, I had visited her, she called me her girl, and hugged me. I knew that I always held a special place in her heart.

If you would like to read the original story of my accident, although it may be a bit graphic for some readers. I tried my best not to be too graphic. You can read the original story here, https://threeyellowdaisies.ca/2020/05/29/second-chance/ The purpose of this post is to provide hope and wisdom to other people, and not so much of the story of the accident.

Now I spend my days trying to cram doing all the things that make me happy throughout my days, because we truly don’t know when our last day may be. I was able to start writing my blog again, five months after my accident. I first started this blog in May of 2015, and managed to write it for a year, and took a break, and nearly forgotten about it for four years. But here I am, back and better than ever. And here to stay.

I know that they are many people who lose their lives due to motor vehicle accidents every year. In Canada there were 1,922 people who died in 2018 from a motor vehicle traffic collision. (1) I am truly sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one from a car accident. My heart goes out to you all.

A year ago today, I am reminded that any one of us can die so suddenly, so let’s not waste a day, or even a second for holding a grudge, or hatred towards someone. Why waste a day, being anything, but happy? We should make every one of our days count for something. We should add joy and happiness in someone else’s day. The best part is that doesn’t take a lot of effort. When we make other people happy, it also makes us happy, too. It’s a win win situation. And sometimes people don’t get so lucky with having a second chance at life. So find something that makes you happy, and brings joy to your life. Life truly does go by pretty fast, faster than we think.

I hope everyone can use this tragedy as a reminder to go out and find your passion. Really start living your life. You don’t know what the future is going to bring you, so don’t let it pass you by.

A year later, I still feel pain from time to time in my right thigh where I got hit. I still get a bit anxious going out for a walk, especially at busy interactions, and busy roads. I have always been cautious crossing the street before my accident. And now, I’m even more cautious, if that’s even possible. I avoided having to do any obligations and errands for today, so I don’t have to go outside. It must sound a bit lame, but I just don’t have the strength to go out on the anniversary of my accident.

Getting hit by a car, really changed my life for the better. It gave me motivation to take over my life, again. I learned that I was too focused of living my life to other people’s standards, and not so much as to my standards. I was doing something that people wanted me to do. I even started studying accounting a few years ago, since people told me that I should be an accountant, because I was organized, had a good memory, and good with numbers. I learned that maybe, that’s what I’m not meant to do. And now I am slowly doing the things I want to do for myself. I found my true passions. In the fifth grade I wanted to be a writer, and right now I have been dedicating time to write. I want to add joy to people’s lives, by helping them see the good in themselves, and helping them realize that things do get better.

Throughout the year, other areas of my life have changed, my boyfriend and I no longer live with his family, but now we live with his friend and his family. I no longer work at that coffee shop. Not for reasons related to the accident. That’s just how life worked out for us. I couldn’t be more happy. I was working for someone else’s dreams, and not really have a lot of time to focus on my dreams, and what my passions are. Right now, I have been focusing on my blog, and writing some stories. That is what I am passionate about.

I see this day as a reminder to live my life, chase after my dreams, not try to appease what people want me to do, or they say to me when I’ve just been writing some ideas down. Even though the accident didn’t make much sense, like I always asked myself, why did that happen to me? Why did I lived? I really started questioning my purpose. I’m not working at the moment, but I have been using this time to work on what I am passionate about, which is writing. How thankful I am that I only ended up with bruises. Because I know, not everyone is as lucky. I am thankful that I still get to help others, and that I get to be here for my loved ones. The universe saw something greater in me, than I was capable of seeing in myself, and the universe didn’t want my story to end. This accident ignited a fire in me, that I should do something in my life. It reminds me to always find my purpose and happiness, and go in that direction, and not move backwards.

I hope that people can take away that their life doesn’t last forever, only their legacy does. It’s best not to waste your purpose by living someone else’s dreams. Go and chase your passion. Life is limited, so go out there and make something out of your life.

  1. https://tc.canada.ca/en/road-transportation/motor-vehicle-safety/canadian-motor-vehicle-traffic-collision-statistics-2018

“Camping”

Last night, my boyfriend and I had such a great night last night. We decided to go “camping”. And by camping, I mean have a mini camp out on the floor. I have been missing going out for dates, when it was safe and normal to do so. We had to improvise with what we had. Instead of going out, and spending a few hundreds of dollars on an actual camping trip, we took a cheaper and still fun route.

We have had our ups and downs as of lately, so this definitely helped smooth our situation for the better. It’s super easy and affordable to have a joyous time.

The first thing we did was made our “campfire”, it was a candle. We built our tent using several blankets, and used our teamwork skills to build this cool fort. Then we talked about our feelings, such as things that that upset us, things that he did that made me feel loved, and vice versa. We also talked about ways to make things better, and how to prevent these kinds of arguments.

It’s good to have a weekly meeting/conversations to express what made you feel happy and loved throughout the week, and also to discuss what made you feel sad. It’s always important to talk about things that are bothering and talk about solutions with your partner. Be sure to express your feelings in a calm manner, and try to avoid the blame game. Instead use phrases such “When you said/did _____, it made me feel _______.”

After we discussed our feelings, we ordered some take out. We do have some take out throughout the month, because it is a nice treat to have every once in awhile. We ate our food in our fort and then we watched some scary movies. The first movie we watched was The Third Eye, and The Shutter (2004). The Third Eye is an Indonesian film, and The Shutter is a Thai supernatural horror film. Because we don’t speak those languages, we watched with the subtitles, which wasn’t as difficult as I initially thought it would have been. But both films were worthwhile.

We had some snacks while we were watched our movies. It just felt like a really fun night, without having much stress about the world. We treated it like a real date, by silencing our phones, so we can truly enjoy each other’s company.

We will definitely be doing this again. It is a nice mini adventure that really doesn’t cost much either. It was our first “camping trip” together. We have been together for just over five years now.

There is our “camp fire”, and our tent. We sat in the dark with our candle light.

Watching the Thinker -Eckhart Tolle

Hi there! Welcome back to another Eckhart Tolle Friday.

Eckhart Tolle is the author of Power of Now. It is a book about how to practice mindfulness. It is an amazing book and it’s one of those books that makes you think.

“The good news is that you can free yourself from your mind. This is the only true liberation. You can take the first step right now. Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years. This is what I mean by ‘watching the thinker’, which is another way of saying: listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence.”

-Eckhart Tolle, Power of Now, page 18

When I was reading this paragraph, it really spoke to me. Because sometimes my mind tells me I should do something like take a shower the minute I wake up instead of taking one later. And whenever my mind tells me to do that, my boyfriend would tell me that his coworker (who is also my sister’s boyfriend) wants to know what my afternoon plans because they finished work early and invited us over for dinner. I would only be given 10 to 15 minutes to get ready. I would be glad that my instincts told me to take an early shower since it would be one less thing for me to do when I get back home.

Although, sometimes my mind tells me more serious things like what I should do career wise. I find when I meditate, I receive a lot of answers that I am seeking.

What I find helpful is when you learn to quiet the mind, the answers find you. Meaning if you stop worrying about trying to always think of the answers, let the answers to come to you, instead.

Mindfulness may take time to get use to. My suggestion is start small. Begin or end the day with five minutes of sitting still, silencing your mind. And then when you have mastered that, you can begin to your increase your time of practicing stillness. Only you know when you are comfortable to increase your time. So there’s no need to put yourself down for not mastering 45 minutes of stillness on your first attempt. I’m sorry to say, but that isn’t a realistic approach.

The answers that you are seeking, may or may not come to you right away, and that’s okay. Just know your answers always come to you at the right moment when you need to know.

25 Lessons I’ve Learned When I Was 25

Goodbye 25, hello 26!

Time is just flying by, but I have learned a lot of lessons. In honour of my 26th birthday here are 25 lessons I have learned in the past year…

  1. Count my blessings — big or small. Having had a near death experience, I have learned to always be thankful for everyone and everything in my life.
  2. It’s okay to change career paths. This year allowed for me to widen my horizons about my career and what I want to do. I haven’t actually finalized anything yet, but it’s good to have options. And I don’t need to make any decision right now, but I will have a decision soon.
  3. To chase my dreams. I like to think that I learned a lot about myself. I rediscovered what is valuable to me and ways to pursue and reach my goals.
  4. Never settle! I often felt like I need something better — a better job, a better place to live in. I felt like I had outgrown those things that I needed something else.
  5. Always save up for a rainy day.  It’s important to set aside some money whenever you receive money, whether it be a pay cheque or a gift, etc.
  6. Learn to enjoy the small things. Like Winnie the Pooh would say; “Sometimes it’s the smallest things that take up the most room in your heart.” I couldn’t agree more with that expression. I have been noticing and appreciating small moments in my life.
  7. Make time for reading. I have been learning to spend more time reading. Reading is one of my favourite pasttime.
  8. Practice good health care habits. There have been nights were I just get too cozy to brush my teeth or brush my hair, but I get up anyway, because I don’t want to regret it in the morning. I hate waking up to a big knot in my hair. So I always make sure to do these errands before I get too cozy.
  9. Learning to let go. I have been purging through my belongings and donating things that no longer serves me or adds any value in my life. It isn’t just things that I am giving up, but the same goes for bad memories. I kept their lessons they have taught me, but I no longer need to be a prisoner of my past and wrongdoings.
  10. There will be times where I’m not okay, and that’s okay. I have had my share of bad times this past year. And eventually I have gotten better and recovered from those hardships. It is okay to not be well every time. Time heals our wounds. And with my wounds, wisdom is followed. I used my wisdom to learn and get better.
  11. Setbacks doesn’t mean I failed. Last year, I had left a job that I was at for two years to pursue a job in my educational field. Because it was only a seasonal job, I needed to find something else after my contract was finished. I applied to many different jobs, thinking this place is the one for me. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, I wanted to do something different. Nothing had worked out for me, so I had to go back to the job that I worked at for the past two years. It made me feel like a failure and it took me awhile to only see it as a set back instead. Setbacks don’t equal failing at something, it just means that the road you are trying to get to is under construction. Which brings me to my next point…
  12. Nothing is permanent. Everything is only temporary. So it reminds me that I should enjoy the good times because not everything can last forever. And for the bad things, I must not worry because they won’t last forever either. “Be strong because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.”
  13. Be cautious of who I spend my time with. They say the closest five people you spend most of your time with, determine many things. There are studies that say you pick up habits of your inner circle. So if I am not with people who bring out the best of me, and encourage me to be and do better, than I should find some other people.
  14. I should love myself first. Before I can love anyone, I must make sure that the first person on the list is me. It is not selfish to love yourself. It is necessary because if I don’t (love myself), then I am showing the world that I don’t matter. And I do. I must treat myself like I am my own best friend.
  15. Drink more water.
  16. Whatever happens, stay calm. After my car crash, I was really worried, but I tried to stay calm regardless of what was happening to me.
  17. Walking and exercising can solve most of your problems. This also helps reduce your stress and worries. And exercising has many other health benefits, too.
  18. Pay down your debt often. Don’t wait to pay off something. My boyfriend and I are working on paying our debt and student loans. And once we finish paying it off, we vow to not go in debt again.
  19. Make sleep a priority. As of lately, I have managed an inconsistent sleeping routine, which I am trying to break out of. I would either get too caught up in my books or a show that I can’t go to bed without knowing some answers until I read the next chapter and watch the next episode. Now, I am learning to develop my evening routine.
  20. My words and beliefs become me. If I keep on thinking about positive things, positive things will come my way, and vice versa. I have to continue to think good thoughts if I want good things.
  21. I must work for what I love. I will only work towards my passions and my goals.
  22. I found that being successful begins with one small step and taking a leap of faith. As well as believing in myself and my goal itself.
  23. I feel that with everything that this year has thrown at me, there were days where I didn’t feel like I was me. I’m sure everyone can relate to those days where they don’t feel like themselves anymore. Like the famous quote said; “In the forest I go to lose my mind, and find my soul.” I felt like I really connected with that quote this past year. In a sense with all of these loses I really did indeed find myself.
  24. Whatever I think or believe in becomes my reality. So I make it my best to get my thoughts upbeat so everything that I want to come true, does. If I keep on thinking negatively, then only negative thoughts are going to happen.
  25. Learn to express gratitude and always be thankful for what I have. I must not forget the hard work that other people do for me. And how much people love me. I should always show my gratitude no matter what.

Positive Memories

For the remainder of the year, I am going to keep a jar of positive memories that has happened to me. On New Year’s Eve I am going to read off the magical moments that I have had during this year. I know there might be a lot of memories that you were hoping, but don’t let you discourage yourself from partaking in this journey.

It doesn’t have to be a jar, it can be a shoe box or an empty candle holder or anything like that. Feel free to decorate it as however you prefer.

You can write about anything that you made you feel happy or any positive changes in your life such as a new job, a new spouse, the arrival of a niece or nephew, or reading x amount of books like you wanted to. Anything that brings you happiness. You can even include the fortune in your future cookies. This will help you want to set amazing goals for the following year. Keep your momentum striving and always work on wanting to better for yourself.

It adds a bit of magic for New Year’s Eve and puts in perspective just how far you have come. It will be a refreshing way to end a less than magical year. Always continue to step with your best foot forward.

Fear

The other night I was re-watching Prison Break. And one of the main characters said this interesting quote…

“When I was a child, I couldn’t fall asleep at night because I thought there was a monster in the closet. But my brother told me there isn’t anything there but fear. And fear wasn’t real. He said it was not made of anything. It was just air, air. Not even that. He said you just have to face it. You just have to open that door, and the monster would disappear.”

-Michael Scofield, Prison Break

Second Chance

*Warning* This blog post may be graphic for some readers.

About six months ago, my boyfriend was walking me to work. During that time it was our winter, so I had slipped and fallen on some ice on my right thigh. It hurt a bit, but I shook it off as I had ways to go. That whole morning, even getting ready for work felt like an off day for me. I wasn’t in the best mood. To be honest, I was feeling a bit discouraged that day.

We were almost at my work, when the light had turned green – our right away. And because I was angry that day, I was walking fast, faster than my boyfriend, and the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I had just gotten hit by a car that was turning left and he ran right into me. I was too busy thinking in my head to hear the car turning. My boyfriend tried his best to grab me and pull me out of the way. He felt me slip out of his arms.

I was crying, but I was strong enough to stand up afterwards. My mind has never let me remember the actual feeling of getting hit by the car. Which I am so thankful for. It really was scary. I just remember the feeling pain on my face and on my right thigh, (it didn’t help that I had previously fallen on it, 20 minutes prior) which is what had hit the car. I also remember being scared to touch my face and thigh in fears of feeling broken bones. After I had placed my hands over those body parts, I just felt the skin being swollen, nothing was broken, although I don’t have a Medical Degree, so I couldn’t be 100% certain.

My boyfriend took me over to a side walk where he took his coat off and used that as a cushion for me to sit down on. Then a familiar customer approached me asking me if I was okay, because I assumed not a lot of time has passed by, so she must have saw the accident. She was nice enough to call for help on my behalf. I told her that I worked at the coffee shop just up the street, where she was heading. She had spoke to the manager explaining the situation to my manager. My manager came out and saw me and gave me a hug.

I just remembered looking at the car and seeing his side mirror hanging off over his door handle.

Not much time after that, help showed up. My boyfriend and I both gave the police our statements. We then went to a hospital to get looked at to make sure that I was okay. After a doctor had examined me, she told me that I was lucky. Nothing was broken, just bruises and a bit of swelling.

It was in those moments that I truly was lucky. I could have suffered life-threatening injuries, or worst, I could have died, but the universe told me that my purpose and story wasn’t over. The universe knew that I had more to offer and bring into this world. It made me feel that I was needed and people needed me too.

I was also reminded me that I should be chasing my own dreams and passions and not be persuaded by what others want me to be. I pursued accounting thinking that I would love it, and be good at it. And also because people were encouraging telling me that I would be good at it, as well. But when I was studying it, I felt like my heart wasn’t it.

When they placed my hospital bracelet, I remembered the other times that I had to wear one in the past. Being in the hospital, made me feel like a patient in Grey’s Anatomy. It reminded when I was younger, I always wanted to be a nurse. I love helping people, I’m an optimistic and a caring person who has a lot of patience. To me, those are good qualities to have as a nurse. I know there are many other qualities to be a nurse, but those are the first ones that come to mind.

Later that night, because I had fallen and broke the concrete with my face. I ended up chipping one of my tooth, that I previously chipped two years ago, almost to the day. It was just not my day that day. I noticed because I was eating my dinner and a part of my filling came off. But I am thankful for all of the lessons it has taught me.

Although, to be honest I laid in bed for the next week or so. It wasn’t so much the aftermath of getting hit by the car that knocked me out, it was mostly the anxiety of having to go back outside. I also had a purple, dark blue bruise on my face, so that made me feel a bit self conscious. It was a very scary time for me. Fortunately, the bruise was a pale yellow greenish bruise by the time I returned to work a week later. It reminded that everything is only temporary, this pain won’t last forever.

I just felt a lot of life changing moments during the whole incident. I felt like beforehand, I wasn’t in the best place, emotionally; I often felt like I wasn’t me. I felt like I had outgrew a lot of things, like I was hungry and wanting new and better things for myself. I wanted a new job, a new place to live. The whole incident taught me to not settle for things that made me unhappy, instead choose happiness.

It made me realize that I am stronger than I even realized. I am capable of making changes in my life. This incident made me count my blessings, and to always be thankful no matter what happens to me. It was like this whole thing was a teaching moment. It reinforced everything that I preach in my blog, to be thankful, to never settle, to always believe in yourself and to overcome your anxieties and fears. I can really go and do anything I want to in my life.

It was also a reminder to always live your life like it is your last day. I know that made sound like a cliche, but it’s so true. You should always fill your days doing something you love. Always tell your friends and family how much they mean to you. No one knows when their time is going to run out. Don’t let the bad times bring you down, you can always stand up, no matter how hard the universe may bring you down. Use your troubles as stepping stones for something better. Learn to count your blessings, not your burdens.