Fight Right

Whenever you get in an argument with someone dear, instead of bickering and yelling at them, or playing the blame game, perhaps you should try to write them a letter.

When you are writing this letter, be sure to include the following statements, such as, “I feel _______, when you do _______”. And be sure to refrain from my using vulgar language, name calling, or anything else that is negative and uncalled for.

You begin to write about what you are angry, or upset you are, and what caused you to feel these emotions. The person that you are having this disagreement with, is to just sit there waiting for your letter.

Once you have finished writing your letter, you then hand it to the person you are having this disagreement with. If you live together, you can just simply hand it to them. If they don’t live with you, you can safely deliver it yourself, or mail it depending on where they live.

The recipient now can respond to the letter, with what was written to them. They have the same rules where they are not allowed to call you names. They can discuss their feelings to you, and let you know where they are coming from.

Keep on writing until an agreement of how to do things differently, an apology.

The point of this exercise is to be more mindful of what exactly you are thinking. How many times has countless hours of arguing resulted in you saying something uncalled for and unnecessary that made the person you are arguing with feel even worse? This saves you from saying something hurtful, that you will regret later.

And perhaps you and your partner or who ever you are having this disagreement with aren’t the best with words, perhaps you are more artistic. By all means, you can draw a picture instead. And if you aren’t the best at either, perhaps you can find another way to express your feelings in a mindful way.

By finding healthier ways to express your feelings throughout a disagreement, it will save you and your partner a lot of heartache later.

“Camping”

Last night, my boyfriend and I had such a great night last night. We decided to go “camping”. And by camping, I mean have a mini camp out on the floor. I have been missing going out for dates, when it was safe and normal to do so. We had to improvise with what we had. Instead of going out, and spending a few hundreds of dollars on an actual camping trip, we took a cheaper and still fun route.

We have had our ups and downs as of lately, so this definitely helped smooth our situation for the better. It’s super easy and affordable to have a joyous time.

The first thing we did was made our “campfire”, it was a candle. We built our tent using several blankets, and used our teamwork skills to build this cool fort. Then we talked about our feelings, such as things that that upset us, things that he did that made me feel loved, and vice versa. We also talked about ways to make things better, and how to prevent these kinds of arguments.

It’s good to have a weekly meeting/conversations to express what made you feel happy and loved throughout the week, and also to discuss what made you feel sad. It’s always important to talk about things that are bothering and talk about solutions with your partner. Be sure to express your feelings in a calm manner, and try to avoid the blame game. Instead use phrases such “When you said/did _____, it made me feel _______.”

After we discussed our feelings, we ordered some take out. We do have some take out throughout the month, because it is a nice treat to have every once in awhile. We ate our food in our fort and then we watched some scary movies. The first movie we watched was The Third Eye, and The Shutter (2004). The Third Eye is an Indonesian film, and The Shutter is a Thai supernatural horror film. Because we don’t speak those languages, we watched with the subtitles, which wasn’t as difficult as I initially thought it would have been. But both films were worthwhile.

We had some snacks while we were watched our movies. It just felt like a really fun night, without having much stress about the world. We treated it like a real date, by silencing our phones, so we can truly enjoy each other’s company.

We will definitely be doing this again. It is a nice mini adventure that really doesn’t cost much either. It was our first “camping trip” together. We have been together for just over five years now.

There is our “camp fire”, and our tent. We sat in the dark with our candle light.