Last week, I was talking to my second cousin, and she has had a lot on her plate as of lately. I am fortunate that I am someone that she trusts enough to talk about these things with. I am happy to say that I give her so much support and love. Although I wish we live closer, but I hope we can catch up again soon. I miss her so much.
She has been dealing with some family drama and disagreements, and let’s face who hasn’t? I love sharing my wisdom with others. I enjoy helping people. She often feels overwhelmed and that whatever she is doing, is not enough. I always remind her, that what she is thinking is totally false, she just needs to change her mindset.
“It’s only a thought… and a thought can be changed.”-Louise Hay
We are grateful to have each other in our lives.
I’m sure they are many people out there that can relate to dealing with family drama, and having relationship problems. (Talking to my cousin about this, has inspired me to write about how to solve relationship problems and conflicts, more to come). Don’t feel bad for not having “the perfect family”, no one really does, no matter how difficult that is to admit.
She has been addressing unhappiness with her job, as well. It’s easy for her to hate the world, and feel defeated with everything. But that isn’t the case, I tell her every chance I get of how amazing she is.
For everyone out there who may be dealing with one or all of these situations, it might be easy to just give up and roll over. But don’t! Use all of these challenging times as stepping stones to build something better.
I told my cousin, that it’s okay to have to go through these battles. It is mostly about how you deal with these confusing times. It’s truly important that during these times, they are handled in a healthy way. Using addictive alternatives (such as alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.) to cope with these struggles, it only fixes things temporarily, they do NOT solve problems in the long term. Resorting to such dangerous coping mechanisms only numbs your pain. I have learned from close friends in my life, that numbing the pain for awhile, just hurts even more when you finally feel it.
My suggestions to help you cope with all of these feelings, is to build a support system, where you can talk to trusted people about with what is happening in your life. Or just having one person is helpful enough. And if you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable discussing this with, which is okay, by the way, then that brings me to my alternative solution.
Write in a journal, write about anything you want, let it flow onto the page. You don’t have to let anyone read it if you don’t want to. It can be just for your eyes only. I am one who never had many friends, so I had to learn to be my own best friend.
Another thing, I have told her that starting a new job can be scary and terrible, but so is staying at a lousy job. Your life is far too short to spend it being anything but happy. So I recommended that she looks for another job, but at the same be thankful that she still has a job.
Everyone experiences relationship problems, but we should see it as an opportunity to discuss things that you are not happy with, and begin to think of solutions. You have to go through a storm to get a rainbow.
On our lower days it’s easy to just stay in bed, not wanting to deal with the world. Been there, done that and didn’t get much done. But what is important is that we make the time to take care of ourselves. It’s the simple things that add so many benefits. It’s the little things like making your bed, brushing your teeth and hair. They all make you feel so much better. And by doing those things takes no more than 15 minutes, and you will feel so much better. When you make your bed, you get a sense of accomplishment, and it gets the ball rolling for you wanting to do something more, and more.
When you are constantly allowing yourself to drown in everyone else’s lives and thoughts, it’s easy to forget about your needs and wants. Learn to take some time for you every day, not just on your lower days. Learn to set aside 15 minutes of your day, just on you. Or a little longer, depending on how you feel. Take a long, hot shower, or a warm bath with Epsom salts, and whatever else you need to feel relax and unwind.
Practicing meditating and doing various yoga poses can also help you de-stress, too. There are so many more videos are YouTube to help you. Perhaps, you are more into the arts, so maybe drawing or painting, may benefit you more. You just got to follow your heart and decide what is going to bring you the most joy.
“”Anyone out there who’s in junior high, high school, working it out, suffering — There are days you’re going to feel sad, you’re going to feel angry, you’re going to feel scared, that’s nothing you can choose, but you can make stuff. Make films, draw, write, It will make a world of difference.”-Pete Docter, Inside Out Director Academy Award Acceptance Speech
Everyone should think what they truly want to happen from all of these difficult times. Everything happens for a reason, and it takes a bad apple to appreciate a good apple. Because we are going through tough times, we all get to decide why these things are happening to us. We decide why the universe threw all of this at us. Think of what you want to happen next. Think of goals or skills you would like to accomplish. Be as specific as you can. From there you can write about small manageable goals that you do in order to achieve your big goal. Be sure to let your support team know when you have accomplished your small goals, so they can celebrate you!
What ever you may be going through today, always remember that you are going to make it. What’s important is that you continue to love yourself in the process. Never stop loving yourself, or you will lose yourself. And a world without you, is not a lovely world. The world needs you — exactly how you are. The genuine you, not the person you pretend to be. Always stay true to yourself. You are always enough, and you are always loved.
Three Yellow Daisies xo ❤