Toxicity

I apologize for not being as active as I usually am on the weekends. I had a difficult weekend. I was started to overwhelmed at work, and I just felt like nothing was going in my favour on Saturday. After that shift, I came home and just relaxed and focused on me.

After I had the chance to relax and take care of myself, I feel much better.

It was the first week back, after a medical leave due to Covid-19, and a lot of things have changed at work. I’m fine with all of the procedures that are put in place to keep us safe. I work at a cafe, and we now do delivery services, so it gets overwhelming when you’re the one that has to prepare all of those orders. I had to do it on my own. It was my first shift I had spent preparing the delivery orders. I had asked for help thrice. And no one helped me, so I became too overwhelmed, and I started crying. No job should make me feel this way. I felt like after my friends have left this cafe, I often like this place was a bit toxic some days.

I just felt like not a lot of my coworkers weren’t even happy for my return back to work. They didn’t really spend much time saying hello, or even asking me how I was, or if I was okay. I always felt like an outcast at work, because everyone was friends with each other, and no one wanted to be my friend. I know that sounds childish in a way, but even though I am a really nice person, I still have a hard time making friends like everyone else.

I just felt like it is time for me to finally move forward with my life. I have been working there on and off for the past three and half years. I feel like I deserve to be surrounded by a more positive atmosphere. It’s like there were cliques of coworkers who didn’t like each other.

I always tried to make new friends with everyone, but it just felt like a waste of time, because no one seemed to care. The best thing about the whole pandemic made me realize that I need to treat myself with more respect. Well to be fair, I already knew that I wanted a better job, but then coronavirus overtook the world, and everything began temporarily closing, I knew that I wait until the perfect opportunity to begin the job hunting process.

So if any of this relates to anyone, you have the power to change your life, and make it better. You always have the power in you to go after what you want in your life. Never hold yourself back, or deny yourself with something better. Listen to what’s in your heart and decide from there. Your life is far more valuable than to hang around people who don’t bring out the best of you, or staying at a job that doesn’t make you happy. Life is incredibly short, so you may as well do things that make you happy. It may like an overwhelming task, but once you go after what you truly want in your life, you’ll welcome an abundance of happiness in your life. The only regret you will have, is waiting so long to finally reap the award of a better life.

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