Don’t Dwell In Sadness

I have a tendency of allowing myself to dwell sadness. I even let the smallest things bother me. I give my negative thoughts too much power.I know that some of thoughts aren’t true but I still think of them anyway. I think that I’m not good enough, that I’m not lovable and that I underestimate my value from time to time.

I’ve always done this for as long as I could remember.

It is such a difficult habit to break. This is why I turn to happiness because I got tired of wallowing in my negativity and sadness. It sometimes feels like when sadness creeps in I allow it to stay. Even though I try to not to.

When sadness crept into my life in March I started making changes in my life. I began exercising, eating healthy and drinking lots of water sometimes mixing it with either cucumbers or lemons. I also kept up with writing in my journal before I went to bed.

I used to start my day with stretches, eating a healthy breakfast, going for a run, climbing stairs followed by a cool down and a shower.

I made a lot of healthy changes to let go of my sadness.

When my friendship with one of my closest friends was collapsing, it made me feel really sad. It made me think me that I wasn’t good enough. I knew I wasn’t because I did a lot of things that I regret throughout our friendship. I would try to convince myself that those things doesn’t make me a bad person.

A quote that I heard from someone from one of my support groups was that; “All of us has done bad things but we only did them because we had good intentions behind our actions.”

Before I started dating my boyfriend I would talk to him about stuff like this. I also went to support groups to release my sadness. I haven’t been to one in a long time. I used to read my daily readings from One Day At A Time in Al-Anon (Al-Anon is meetings where friends or relatives of the alcoholic can go and seek support from others, guest speakers and from literature) as well as The Language of Letting Go. I really want to start this again.

I felt a lot of the symptoms that a lot of the people experienced in those meetings – guilt, sadness, indecisiveness and many other things.

I have found that these books have been helpful. I enjoy reading them after breakfast. It helps me start the day on the right foot.

Lately I’ve been feeling sad partly because of my uncertainty. I don’t mean uncertainty with my boyfriend or any of my other relationships. I mean career wise. I get nervous about what I should be doing and ponder if it is right for me. I’m a worrier. I doubt myself.

I allowed myself to stay trapped with sadness and not letting happiness rule my day.

I need to believe in myself and trust that everything is under control and that everything happens for a reason even if I may not see now. Nothing bad will happen to me because whatever happens is supposed to happen. This is something that I think of when I worry too much.

I didn’t plan on writing this much, it kind of made me feel like I babbled. But anyway, I am trying to not let my sadness ruin the happiness that I am blessed to have in my life – my boyfriend, family, friends, my job and many more.

I need to continue on making healthy changes for myself. I have written my resolutions for this month that will help me embrace happiness.

Today, I will not allow myself to drown in sadness instead I will let happiness overshadow the darkness. I will try my best to make positive changes in my life. Whenever I am sad I will talk to someone about it or if I am not ready to talk about it, I write it down in a journal until I wish to talk to someone about it. I find it helpful but at the beginning it was a bit scaring.

I won’t let the sorrows of yesterdays ruin my happiness of my tomorrows.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

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